Letters of Regret

I was recently asked by a friend if I could write a letter of recommendation and opinion to be used in a custody trial that is coming up soon. I kind of knew this was coming in the general sense and I have thought occasionally on it. Things happened recently that aren't my place to divulge, but once the ball started rolling, it went fast. So when the official request came through, I jumped right on the bandwagon. I started burn up paper as I wrote about all the wrongs of said friends ex-spouse. That isn't to say I didn't have a few things to say about my friend as well and I tried to make it not so much a letter of sainthood recommendation but a balanced perspective.

But it wasn't. Of course not, it was just the first draft.

So I edited. I took out all the things that I really only knew about second and third hand. The letter was still about forty pages typed. Yeah, a lot to say about that relationship. So I did the sensible thing and I left it alone for a few days. Again. Then I went back and I realized, in the course of the relationship, with them living on the other coast, I never got a chance to actually see the one parent interact with the child. So there went all that. In the end, everything I was writing about, wasn't even about the kid in question.

And so the letter was not sent. Until today.

Because I am finally (wo-)manning up and putting on my big girl britches and realizing that yes, this situation has brought up a lot of anger and bad memories for me, even on the outskirts of the situation, as I was. There were things that happened in my life that i had to deal with, that were similar to this case and I had to deal with it all before I could move past myself and realize that I truly do want, what is in the best interest of the child in question. Of course, that would have been for Mom and Dad to remain happily married and dedicated to the family, but that didn't happen. Next best would to be to have an amicable relationship geared towards the best interests of said child without personal feelings and prejudices coming into play. Never going to happen it seems. Not a perfect world. So, going by how the kid reacts to one parents name, I'm going with my friend.

I just really hope that the judge overseeing this whole thing listens fairly, without bias and puts the kid first. With what I know of the justice system these days, I'm really going to be praying hard. And that's not something I do as a habit.