A Piece Of Advice

Title: A Piece Of Advice
Author: Restive Nature (aka bavite)
Rating: PG-13
Type: Crossover of BtVS and DA.
Status: Stand Alone, Complete.
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters or settings... at all!
Timeline: Takes place in the DA second season timeline, but makes the assumption that Anya remained a Vengeance demon in Season Six and Seven. And since playing with portals is always so amusing, we won’t! Xander is about mid-thirties in this fiction.

Summary: Man to man, one word of advice. Run!

A/N- This fiction is a continuation of “Making The Best of a Bad Situation”.

A/N2- This fiction is dedicated to napaisti since she just had to mention this pairing and making me go and think of the perfect first line! This one’s for you honey!

A/N2- This fiction is part of the TtH fic-for-all. Pairing #2236 Xander/ Alec.

A Piece Of Advice

“So has she asked you for orgasms yet?” the one eyed man asked Alec quite casually. But it was a moment for anything but casual to Alec. He severely choked on the drink he’d just taken a sip of and then grimaced. Whiskey was certainly not meant to be experienced through the nose. Alec McDowell always thought of himself as a person that nothing could surprise. Someone who could roll with any punch aimed towards him. But this guy? He’d done the impossible and caught him off guard.

He eyed the older man, who’d introduced himself as Xander Harris. He’d recognized the name immediately. How could he not? He’d been hearing it every other minute or so for the last two days from the lips of one Anyanka Jenkins. The freak woman who’d attached herself to his side. In fact, it had taken all of Alec’s skill as an ex-Manticore operative to evade her this evening.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Xander chuckled, swirling the last drops of his own drink in the glass before him. Alec stared at him warily. From what he’d understood of Anya’s ranting, she and Xander had been over for a long time. He’d made the mistake early on of telling her to get over it. It was something he’d never say to another female as long as he lived. But still, given the way Anya went on about Xander, he could see that she was still hung up on the guy. Or the presents, Alec wasn’t quite sure which. Alec just didn’t know if Xander was still hung up on her.

“Well,” he hedged, not quite sure what to say.

“It’s okay,” Xander assured him quickly. “Anya and I were over a long time ago. And I think we’re probably better off for it.” Alec wasn’t so sure, especially if Anya were still making other people miserable about it, namely him. And this Xander character had been eager enough to ask about Anya when they’d bumped into each other this morning.

It had started out simple enough, Alec realized. He’d woken up and there was Anya, making breakfast in his apartment. He’d only found one way to shut her up, so to speak. And he’d busily employed that method all night. And with a huge smile on her face, she’d hastily told him that all men were scum, but she’d made him breakfast anyway. So there was some compensation. They’d eaten and Alec had wondered how he was going to get away from her. But then, her pager had gone off and she’d grabbed her coat, citing that her duty awaited and she’d hopefully meet up with him later.

So Alec had been in a much better mood, making the comment that he’d better head for work as well. He’d left his home, thinking about how he could get the locks changed while she was gone. And maybe a new cell phone as well. And just as he’d thought that, the blasted thing rang. And it was Anya, calling to tell him of the time that one Xander Harris had dared put his job before her and her sexual needs.

And it didn’t end there. She called about every fifteen minutes while she traveled to wherever it was that her job took her. And it was during one of these phone calls, when Alec was assuring her that no, he’d never get tired of giving her orgasms and that yes, he was quite the energizer bunny, whatever the hell that was, that he’d bumped into an older gentleman. Alec barely noticed him other than to quickly apologize. But Anya’s strident voice rang out and Alec saw the man’s eye, the one not covered by a black eye patch go wide as he mouthed the name ‘Anya’.

Alec had quickly made his excuses to Anya and thankfully, she’d arrived to work and had to go as well. Alec didn’t even want to know about the screaming he heard in the background. He’d put the phone in his pocket and gently asked the guy if he knew Anya Jenkins. Turned out he did. Turned out he was THE Xander Harris. And it turned out that he didn’t mind commiserating with Alec one bit.

Alec gestured to the bartender to have their glasses refilled. With a smile Marko did just that. Xander smiled his appreciation, rolling the cool glass between callused fingers. The marks of his trade, carpentry, were visibly upon him still after all this time. It was what had brought him to Seattle. Or so he’d told Alec. The young transgenic male, good at ferreting out secrets, had a feeling there was more to the story. But at the moment, he didn’t care. He just wanted to save his own hide. So how was he going to tell this nice guy, that had bought half the rounds they’d drunk, that he was bonking his ex-fiancée?

“Well I-" Alec began again. But he was quickly interrupted, once again by that strident, outraged voice. He groaned, not bothering to hide it.

“Alexander Lavelle Harris!” Anya yelled from across the bar, standing in the doorway. “What are you doing with my orgasm friend? Leave him alone.” Alec cringed and could see Xander doing the same beside him. Although Alec wasn’t sure if it was Anya’s bluntness or her use of the guy’s full name that hit hardest. Honestly, Lavelle? Sounded kind of fruity to Alec.

But somehow, Xander got up the nerve to swing around on his barstool to confront the blonde demon of a woman. “Oh geez! Give it a rest Ahn. I’m not breaking him.”

“No,” she agreed with a pout as she started towards them. “But you could be contaminating him with all your girly girl screaming genes.”

“I don’t scream like a girl,” he argued, then glanced down at his drink. “I simply distract attackers with a few well placed, high-pitched vocal emanations.” Alec snorted at that.

“Girly girl screams!” Anya asserted once more. Alec was starting to think that this could be a very entertaining evening, if only Anya would leave him out of it. The other patrons of the bar were already enjoying things.

“Jesus Ahn,” Xander groaned. “It’s been twenty years. Could you at least contemplate getting over it?” Alec screwed his eyes shut and cringed once more. He knew the reaction to this.

“Get over it?” her screech climbed several octaves at once. “How am I supposed to get over it when I’ve got dem-oh, I mean friends calling me from across the world, still, to ask me about why I didn’t get married!”

“Yeah,” Xander snarled back, “well at least your family was sober enough to remember that you were supposed to be married.” Alec pondered that for only a moment. He’d heard enough complaints about the Harris family as well, about the trouble they had caused Anya. But he’d assumed that she’d been exaggerating their drunken stupors. Maybe she wasn’t exaggerating so much if Xander was saying it as well.

“What are you doing here then Xander, if you’re not trying to take away Alec?” Anya demanded. But she didn’t bother to wait for his reply. “I knew it. You just can’t let me be happy. I was winning. I had money, I had a fiancé, and I was making friends. Not just my friends. Bu I was friends with all your little pals and you just couldn’t stand it. Well I’m not going to let you take that away again Xander!”

“Shut up Anya,” Xander threw back. “I’m in Seattle on business okay? And… and to see my own girlfriend. In fact, there she is right now! Jessica, honey bunny!” He yelled out while wildly waving at a newcomer at the bar door. Before anyone else could get a word out, he rushed off to greet the woman. Alec caught a glimpse of dark hair, but that was it.

But apparently Anya saw more, because she began to smirk. “Who does he think he’s kidding?” she snorted. And then Alec understood as Xander pulled back and was confronted with a snarling visage very familiar to Alec. Anya turned to him, her eyes sparkling. “Play along, okay?” Alec nodded his assent gleefully. Oh, he couldn’t wait to see how this unfolded.

The couple at the door spoke quietly for a moment and then Xander began to tug the young woman along behind him. A very reluctant, young woman. Once he reached Alec and Anya, he pulled the woman, who looked distinctively uncomfortable to his side and wrapped an arm about his waist. Alec winced in sympathy. If Xander wasn’t careful, he was going to lose that arm.

“Honey bunny,” Xander cooed, “this is Anya and her boyfriend Alec.” He turned to the reluctant couple and gestured to the young woman. “Guys, this is Jessica, my girlfriend.”

Alec simply reached out his hand to grasp “Jessica’s” “It’s so nice to meet you, Jessica.”

But Jessica wasn’t about to have any of it. “What the hell are you playing at Alec? If this is another one of your stupid ass stunts, I will kick your ass!”

Anya let out a peal of laughter as Xander eyed them all warily. His arm dropped from Jessica’s waist. He gestured back and forth between them all. “Wait! You guys know each other?”

“They work with each other, you moron!” Anya barked out between laughs. “In fact, Max is one of the reasons that I’m here. I was supposed to punish him on her orders.”

“Wait,” Max interrupted. “That’s why you’ve been hanging around him? Because you thought I told you to?”

“Well didn’t you?” Anya demanded of the puzzled woman. But then Alec had to jump in.

“Hey, you didn’t know anything about this Max?” he asked, slightly wounded that she hadn’t been paying as much thought to him as to come up with this elaborate scheme. Max shook her head and Alec was slightly dejected. There wasn’t one good thing to come out of this. Well, except for the many, many orgasms.

“Wait!” Xander exploded again, rounding on the transgenic woman. “You’re Max?” She nodded. And then he turned to Alec. “And he’s Alec?” Max nodded again. Something seemed to dawn on Xander. He turned to Anya with a sickened look.

“What is it with me and demon-women?” he demanded sourly. Anya, who looked to be in form to start ranting again, found that his words cut her short.

“What do you mean?” she demanded suspiciously. Alec and Max exchanged nervous glances. Was Xander somehow onto them and what they were?

“Didn’t you ah… notice anything special about Alec?” Xander let out in a whisper, glancing around with nervous eyes. It was almost like he knew someone would be interested in hearing this.

“What do you mean special?” Anya tried to clarify. If anything, her voice had grown louder.

“Like anything… not human about him?” Xander hissed. Alec and Max’s eyes grew wide. Yup, Xander was on to them. But he seemed to sense that he’d definitely caught their attention. “Oh don’t worry,” he tried to assure them. “We won’t tell. I know Eyes Only.” Max’s eyes narrowed suspiciously. “You know? Logan ‘Bionic Boy’ Cale?”

Alec burst out laughing at that. Okay, he didn’t care if Xander knew about him, well, he did to a small degree, but that slam was just great.

“Hey, you’re Xander Harris,” Max declared suddenly, looking very relieved. Xander nodded, distracted. Max let out a huge breath of relief. She turned to Alec. “Logan told me I was supposed to meet this contact here tonight. Apparently he can help TC with some certain things.”

“Ah,” Alec sighed and nodded. Business as usual. But at least it wasn’t as bad as they’d thought. He wasn’t just some random outsider that knew of the transgenics. Specifically he and Max. But then Xander turned back to Anya. And the blonde was definitely puzzling over something.

“Wait,” she gasped. “Do you mean out of the ordinary, like how long he could hold his breath?” Xander nodded. “And his strength and sexual prowess?” Xander nodded again. “And the barcode tattoo on the back of his neck?” she whispered in near despondency. Xander nodded a final time. There was a moment of silence before Anya rounded on Alec. “Men suck!” And with that, the blonde stormed away from the others.

Stunned silence had taken over the trio in the wake of Anya’s departure. And then Xander, with an unexpected aplomb, gestured to the barkeep. “A drink, to celebrate.”

“Celebrate what?” Max demanded in surly tones. She still wasn’t quite sure what the hell had gone down here.

“I think Anya has just broken up with Alec,” Xander grinned.

“And that’s a good thing?” she asked warily. Before she’d even finished speaking, both men were nodding vigorously. Max shrugged, glanced once the way Anya had gone and then took a seat, far away from Alec, as in on the other side of the one-eyed man. She had her own suspicions about that Anya chick. But she was going to keep them to herself for the time being.

“Oh, and Alec?” Xander noted quietly as their drinks were served. “One piece of advice.” Alec waited for it. “If you ever see Anya coming again? Run!” Max snorted, something between laughter and disapproval.  “No, seriously. Run!”

“Amen to that!” Alec agreed fervently. He and Xander clinked their glasses in a wildly strange toast of complete understanding and drank down their whiskey’s neat while Max laughed cheerily from her own stool.