Fiction- From One Extreme

Title: From One Extreme

Author: Restive Nature (aka bavite)

Rating: PG-13 (at most)

Pairing: Gunn/ Legolas

Disclaimer: All things Angel belong to Joss Whedon and David Greenwalt. All things Lord of the Rings belong to Tolkien.

Timeline: After Gunn has joined the crew, so about mid-season Two of Angel. And just in general for LotR. We’ll just say post movies.

Summary: Gunn has never played nice with others, so why would anyone ask him to play babysitter to an out of dimensioner?

A/N- This fiction was also written for the TtH’s fic-for-all. This pairing is #1350 Gunn/ Legolas.

From One Extreme

“Er, what can I do for you now?” Wesley straightened up from the desk of the main lobby of the Hyperion, addressing their unexpected guest. The blonde man, er, Elf, smiled winningly at the English native and gestured to the books.

“Prithee, I wondered if you have perchance divined the proper method yet with which to return my person to the lands from whence I came?”

The question was asked earnestly, but it took a moment for the other occupant of the room to understand it. He broke in before Wesley could answer. “Damn! Are all you uppity tea drinkers starched in the drawers? Why couldn’t you just say ‘Yo! Find a way home for me yet?’”

The newcomer, Legolas by name and Wesley exchanged an amused glance. Legolas bowed his head slightly. “My apologies Master Charles Gunn. I must admit that I am astonished by my own veracity for verbosity while I am still in such awe over the world I find myself in. If it is your preference for the sweet sounds of silence, I shall endeavor myself to hasten to the quietude that must have oft befallen you before my untimely arrival.”

There was another puzzled look on the black man’s face and with resigned acceptance; he turned to Wesley for translation, which the Englishman gave readily. “He’s surprised himself that he’s talking so much and if you like, he’ll be quiet now.” Gunn sighed and rolled his eyes.

How he dearly wished that Cordelia and Angel would come back. Well, maybe not Angel. Being a creature of the night, he seemed to freak this Legolas dude out and that made the pointy eared wonder talk even more, to cover his nervousness. And it wasn’t like Cordy was any better. But at least she was as clueless as he was when Leg-man spoke. But no, the pair of them was still at Caritas, trying to discover how a portal had opened on the Host’s stage, dropping Legolas through it.

After a few minutes of watching the clock ticking and listening to the pages of Wesley’s old tome rustling, Gunn decided to take action. “I’m outta here man,” he spoke suddenly, causing both Wesley and Legolas to glance up in surprise. He shouldn’t have been surprised when Legolas stood up quickly.

“Do you go to… patrol?” he asked eagerly, panting slightly. He really reminded Gunn of and overeager puppy, or child. Gunn snorted and gestured to the doors that led to the Hyperion’s garden.

“You think we’re goin’ to catch anything in broad daylight?” he scoffed. Legolas simply looked thoughtful.

“Perhaps we’ll stumble onto one of the many monsters from the stories that Master Wesley Wyndham-Pryce was kind enough as to regale me with,” Legolas grinned gleefully. He fingered the daggers at his side in an eerily menacing way. And while Gunn wasn’t this outlander’s biggest fan, he sure had to admire the way this dude handled his weapons.

And then there was Wesley’s pleading look. As much as he enjoyed having Legolas’ presence around him, it was hindering his research, especially since Wesley was the only one that Legolas ever seemed to ask questions of. He disliked the sense of Angel, which the broody Vampire was alarmingly sensitive to. It was not proper for Legolas, in the Elf’s opinion to approach Cordelia, as she was an unmarried, unchaperoned young lady. And Legolas could very well sense Gunn’s irritation with him. But apparently, the chance to hunt was too great for him to pass up.

Gunn sighed and spread his arms wide. “Why not?” he demanded in a sulky tone. “It’ll be dark by the time we get anywhere, since pretty boy there refuses to ride in the love machine.”

He had to wait a few minutes while Wesley properly armed Legolas, with stakes and holy water, all the while answering more questions. The uppermost on Legolas’ mind as to how it was possible that Gunn’s vee-hick-all was able to produce the euphoria of love when it was a dreadful noisy, polluting machine. (A thing most feared apparently, in Legolas’ world.) Gunn could hear the barely controlled laughter in Wes’ voice as he explained the slang.

Several hours later, the sun had set and Gunn and Legolas had arrived back at Gunn’s neighborhood. He hadn’t seen any of his crew as yet and was really wishing that he had. Legolas would have been easier to take if there were more people to distract him, rather than just Gunn. And then there was the chance that one of his kids would have shot first and asked questions later. A slim hope, but buried in his psyche nonetheless.

“And so I said to my dear friend Gimli,” Legolas continued blathering on. “I have told you of my dear friend Gimli, have I not. The dwarf that-!”

“Yeah! Gimli! I got it,” Gunn almost snarled. “The dwarf dude in love with the Elf Queen.”

“Exactly,” Legolas preened, as if he were entirely responsible for the acuity of Gunn’s memory. He was about to go on, but went silent and stiffened in a way that Gunn had quickly understood to mean that there were hostiles in the area. In silent communication, Legolas gestured to the left and Gunn swung his head that way, loosening a stake from where he’d stuffed it into his pants. Listening, he could just make out the sounds of three, possibly more vamps heading their way.

He and Legolas rolled into action. Even in the midst of their short battle against four Vamps, he took just the tiniest second to admire the way the stakes rolled and danced through the Elf’s nimble fingers. Almost like they were an extension of his own self. When the Vamps were dust, Gunn straightened up and replaced the stake in the back pocket of his jeans. He turned to see Legolas staring down at the dust settling on the grass covered grave.

“Yea, I have vanquished thee, foul creature of the night, though-!” he began.

“Dude!” Gunn interrupted. “Can you give it a rest? Quit with the freakin’ theeing and thouing. The Vamp’s gone. No need to eulogize it.” Gunn was startled and more than slightly upset that a three syllable word had slipped through his lips so unintentionally. This pointy eared freak was starting to rub off on him and by the way Legolas was grinning, the bugger knew it.

“For you Master Charles Gunn, I will,” he answered smartly. Gunn rolled his eyes and stalked away. Legolas could hear him muttering under his breath.

“Anyone else would just say okay or yeah or yes sir. But the pointy eared freak’s always gotta be different!”

Legolas took one slight moment to finger his ears. Why did the race of man always have to make that distinction? After all, it wasn’t his fault that the Valar had graced their firstborn’s with such elegant appendages. And then the moment was forgotten as he took off after Gunn.

“Gunn! Duck!”

To both their gratification, Gunn did exactly that. And the Vampire that was attempting a running side-tackle of the black man managed to sail over the suddenly supine figure. Only to be immediately confronted by the angered Elf as Legolas straddled the creature, ramming the stake into the undead heart. But in his concern for Gunn and any more Vampires heading their way, Legolas didn’t quite get the stake clear in time and it vanished into dust along with the creature.

But despite the loss of the one weapon, Legolas was not an Elf to give up easily. This was why he shed the coat Wesley had given him to wear and unslung his bow that was worn cross ways over his torso. An arrow was to hand before Gunn could even blink. Legolas scanned the area easily before letting an arrow fly. Gunn watched with dry-mouthed awe as it hit a target he could barely even see the outline too.

“Ears! You rock!” he cheered the outlander on. Legolas smiled, having heard this slang before and took it to mean he had done well. Perhaps this form of verbal expression wasn’t so difficult after all. Not that he would ever be comfortable using it himself. But something did come to mind. There was one last Vampire in their immediate vicinity and one last chance to impress the black man that Legolas had found himself taking a liking to.

“Well, well, well,” Legolas drawled, taking Gunn’s attention to the last creeping creature of the night. The Vampire froze, realizing that the attention had finally come his way. “We’ve got ourselves quite a situation here. You Vampire. Me Elf. Now, we all know that you as a creature of the night have been gifted with unnatural speed. Speed that no mortal has the chance to equal.”

The Vampire looked as if it were about to speak up with some sort of tidbit rebutting what Legolas had just said, but the Elf never gave it a chance.

“But obviously you must have realized that I am no mere mortal,” Legolas continued. “And therefore, I have become an unknown quantity. Is your speed greater than mine? Is your dexterity enough to equal the deadly accuracy of my hand and eyes?”

Gunn wrinkled his forehead. What on earth was Legolas playing at? He eased his stake into his hand, wondering if he could get the drop on the Vamp while Legolas’ verbal diarrhea kept it occupied.

"So you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, punk?" Legolas finally spat out. The Vamp looked incredulously from Legolas to Gunn. The black man, just as stunned, could only stare back at the Vamp. The undead creature raised one eyebrow, as if to ask ‘is this jerk for real?’ But before Gunn could even shake his head in resignation, Legolas had taken advantage of the Vamp’s distraction and had dusted him through the heart with his arrow, straight and true.

Gunn’s mouth gaped open a few times, imitating a fish. Legolas just looked on merrily. “Well Master Charles Gunn?” he asked expectantly. “Doth that volley of words meet with your down to earth ways approval, or shall I endeavor to put more truculence in my note of censure?” This time Gunn couldn’t help it. He laughed. The twinkle in Legolas’ eyes soon spread to the black man’s and they were both laughing as if the sound were exploding from their very inner core.

“From one extreme to another,” Gunn gasped. “Damn Ears! You a funny guy.”

“Well, I do try my best,” Legolas answered with a straight face. Gunn finally straightened up and gestured for them to keep walking.

“Just do me one favor, okay Ears?”

“And what pray tell, might that be?” Legolas asked politely.

“Remind me to get Angel some new movies to watch,” Gun chuckled, knowing exactly where Legolas’ movie quote had come from.

“Done!”

A/N3- For anyone who doesn’t know, the quote “You've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, punk?" was spoken by Harry Callahan in the movie “Dirty Harry”. (Warner Brothers 1971).




Sequel- Distraction