Fiction- Distraction

Title: Distraction

Author: Restive Nature (aka bavite)

Rating: PG-13 (at most)

Pairing: Andrew/ Legolas

Disclaimer: All things Buffy belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. All things Lord of the Rings belong to Tolkien. I also want to mention that I don’t own the rights to any of the Star Trek franchises. Those are Rodenberry’s properties. (Or whomever they fall to now that he has passed on.)

Timeline: After the movies for LotR. And during season 7 for Buffy. You know, when Andrew was at his height of annoying!

Summary: Legolas finds a way to deal with the intrepid questioner in the form of Andrew Wells.

A/N1- This fiction is a loose continuation of From One Extreme… Legolas goes portal hopping again.

A/N2- This fiction was also written for the TtH’s fic-for-all. This pairing is #1231 Andrew/ Legolas.

Distraction

Legolas sighed deeply and heartily as he tried to relax. He was seated on a very bright, stuffed piece of furniture. He believed, if he remembered correctly, that it was termed a ‘couch’. At least that’s what Master Charles Gunn had called it. Master Wesley Wyndham-Pryce had called it a ‘sofa’. But whatever he preferred to call it, it was comfortable. What was not comfortable however was the incessant prattle that came from the annoying insect like creature in the form of a young man going by the name of Andrew Wells.

Legolas now understood why his own person had annoyed poor Master Gunn those many years ago. And yet, the young man had become his friend. Legolas however, just didn’t think that was going to be possible in this case. This Andrew had the most high-pitched whiny voice that Legolas had ever believed he had heard. And that included the time that the Hobbits were told that their food was being rationed. One would not have believed the pitch that Pippin had finally ascended to during that heated debate.

It might not have been so bad, but Legolas felt slightly deserted. Not that he blamed any of the other occupants of the house. The owner, Buffy, was outside training some recruits. She had been quite a surprise for Legolas. Upon landing in her living room, through another accursed portal (he was really going to have to figure out why they kept attracting him!) he’d introduced himself. Apparently, something that Cordy had said once to Willow kept the young blonde woman from killing him immediately. When they learned that Legolas had once been a guest of the Hyperion and was no big fan of Angel, he’d been quickly accepted by almost all in the group. And since he was privy to the information of Angel being a Vampire, he quickly learned of Buffy’s status as the Vampire Slayer. It as an intriguing notion to Legolas, who was not used to female warriors, especially of her caliber.

The other occupants of the house were similarly busy. Dawn, Buffy’s younger sister was attending her academic lessons at the ‘school’ building. The young man Xander was doing some reconstruction around the house. Legolas had offered to help, but Xander didn’t seem too keen on the extra shadow that had popped up in the form of Andrew. Apparently the young man was more hindrance than help. And lastly, Rupert Giles, their father figure and the young witch, Willow, were conferencing with Master Wesley as to how to reverse the portal, to send Legolas home.

That was one comfort for the Elf. He’d spent nearly three weeks in Los Angeles the first time he’d come to this world. He didn’t think his immortal patience would endure this time around. And so, with Master Wesley’s help, home was but hours away.

“Did you get to watch any television while you were here the first time?” Andrew prattled on, deftly manipulating the remote control for the television. “Do you know what television is? I can’t imagine that Angel would have one. He’s so Goth, you know. Ah, the eternal Vam-pyre.”

Legolas sighed again and quickly interrupted what he knew would turn into a soliloquy of trite phrasing. “Yes Andrew. I had the chance to become acquainted with television. Thank you for asking.”

“Oh,” Andrew seemed slightly startled. “Well, you know, maybe we could watch Star Trek: Enterprise. That wasn’t on the first time you came. I bet you would like it. Ah, Captain Archer. Most especially since you’ve become an explorer of the universe yourself. And I bet you’d like the Vulcans. They have pointy ears, just like you do. Hey, I wonder if…”

Legolas tuned the young man’s chatter out right then. His fingers stole up lightly to stroke at the appendage just mentioned by the young obsessed man. Why hadn’t he thought of that before? He turned to Andrew, a wild look in his eyes.

“Aaii! Why had I not noticed before?” he cried out. Andrew looked suitably startled. Legolas tried to hold back his shudder as he reached out to finger Andrew’s rounded ear. “Your ears! They are round.”

“W-well, of c-course they are,” Andrew stuttered, taken aback. “Everyone’s ears are rounded.”

“But that is not so,” Legolas protested. “In the land of my birth, everyone’s ears are pointed.” This was entirely true. There were only Elves in the Woodland Realms of Mirkwood, once called Greenwood the Great. But Legolas didn’t care to mention that in other lands, the race of Dwarves and of Men were round eared as well. Andrew just didn’t need to know that.

“Oh, I hadn’t thought of that,” Andrew deflated a little.

“Why do you suppose that is?” Legolas demanded gently. “What makes your ears that way? Do you hear better with your ears in that shape? Or do they perhaps make your head more pleasing to the eye?”

“W-well, I don’t know,” Andrew stammered again. He seemed extremely pleased that the reluctant Elf was finally paying attention to him. The expectant look in Legolas’ eyes spurred him to action. “I s-suppose I could look it up,” he suggested hesitantly.

“Would you?” Legolas asked as breathlessly as he could manage.

“Of course!” Andrew fairly leapt to the task as he raced up to the room he had been assigned in Buffy’s house. His mind was reeling with ways to access that information. There were books of course. And the internet. But maybe Legolas would be impressed if he could find a spell to some knowledge demon. Andrew was nearly wetting himself by the time he reached the top of the stairs.

Legolas let his eyes drift shut as quiet finally reigned in the house. Until there came the sound of slow, almost mocking clapping. He peered one eye open to see Xander and Buffy standing in the entrance to the living room. Xander was clapping while Buffy gave him a strange gesture. She held her fist before her with the thumb sticking straight up in the air. By the look on her face, Legolas assumed that he’d done something well.

“Well,” Xander grinned as he quit clapping to take a seat. “I give an A+ in the technique of distraction. What do you think Buff?”

“Could have geeked the computer nerd a little more,” she shrugged, folding her arms across her body as she contemplated the idea. “But since you don’t have that much cultural reference, I will also award you an A+, just for sheer effort and effectiveness alone.”

Legolas grinned back at the duo. Having heard Dawn and Buffy speaking of these letter grading systems earlier, knew that he had indeed done well in his handling of Andrew.

“And he didn’t even have to doff the shirt,” Xander continued gleefully. Legolas’ grin turned instantly to a puzzled frown.

“How would removing my tunic have distracted Andrew?” he inquired, not missing the warning look that Buffy was sternly endowing on the laughing carpenter.

“Ooh,” Buffy exclaimed, glancing up at the clock on the mantle. “Time to pick up Dawn.” She turned to Legolas. “She and I are going to grab a bite to eat and then do an early patrol like I promised her. Do you want to come with? It’d make me feel better if I had an extra set of eyes watching over her.”

Ever the gallant sort of Elf, Legolas agreed at once. Never mind that patrolling was quickly his favorite thing in this world to do. And never mind that he was always appreciative of Buffy’s and her friend’s attempts to include him. And never mind that listening to Dawn attempt to explain a thing to him was funnier than watching Gimli moon over Lady Galadriel. And even as Legolas accepted some weapons from the chest that Xander had opened, he never noticed that Buffy had earned an A+ in distraction herself.