Fiction Grand Prize Giveaway

Grand Prize Giveaway

Author: Restive Nature (aka Bavite)

Rating: PG-13 (‘cause Faith likes to get naughty!)

Disclaimer: I own nothing of BtVS or Home Improvement.

Timeline: I messed about with these a bit. It’s post season 7 for BtVS, but its back when Tim and Al were just starting out on the Tool Time show.

Summary: Sometimes the best gifts come wrapped in plaid.

A/N- For the TtH FFA. Pairing # 826, Faith/ Al Borland.

"Tim," Al protested quietly from his seat on the Tool Time stage. "I really don’t think this is a good idea. Lisa, their assistant, nodded her head as well.

"Nonsense Al," Tim the "Tool Man" Taylor laughed as he clapped his hand on his friend’s back. "I ran it by Binford and as long as it’s only one room, they’ll pay for the whole remodeling. And it’s boosting the viewership of the show since the winner has to call us."

Al caught sight of their stage director making the motions to let them know that they were coming back on air and straightened up in his seat. "Don’t say I didn’t warn you," he mumbled as visions of how Tim could mess this up tumbled through his head.

"All right!" Tim clapped his hands together. "And now folks, the moment you’ve all been waiting for! Oh oh oh oh oh!" he grunted in that ridiculous way that he had. It was surprising how quickly that had caught on with the male members of their studio audiences. Some were even grunting back right now as the women watched in amusement. "That’s right, time for the Tool Time Christmas Grand Prize giveaway. Sponsored by Binford Tools, Al, Lisa and I are going to be remodeling a room in some lucky winners house." The audience applauded and Tim stood from his seat and ambled over to his latest crazy invention. It looked like a bingo caller’s machine. Al groaned and hurriedly rose from his seat. That was exactly what it was.

"And to draw the winner’s name," Tim announced proudly as he patted the machine, "I went ahead and souped up this little number. Inside each one of these balls, an entry form has been placed. So, there will be no human hands interfering. Lisa, start it up!"

Lisa, no stranger to Tim’s tooling around, flipped the switch and took a cautious step back. As expected, the machine began to hurl the balls around the small cage at an enormous rate, but before Al could yell out a warning, Tim had reached over to flip the lever that would allow the ball to be drawn up the chute. The first one came flying up, rocketing out of the chute and exploded into the air.

"Whoowee!" Tim grunted as he leaned over the chute. "That was fast. I like this!" The audience hooted and howled as Tim grunted and then burst out in laughter as the next ball beaned him right in the forehead. Al sighed as he tracked down the first ball that had gotten loose as Lisa worked to turn the machine off before any more damage was done to their host.

Al popped the ball open and withdrew the entry form. He glanced up with a smile at the camera directly before him and said loudly over the pained moans of Tim, "congratulations Ms. Faith Wilkins. If you’re watching, you’ve got five minutes to call the number at the bottom of your screen to claim your grand prize!"

*****

A few minutes later, Tim took a seat after having been patched up by the ever-ready first aid service that had taken up permanent residence behind the set. "So, has our lucky winner called yet?" Tim grinned, as he shifted carefully in his seat. Ooh, maybe sitting wasn’t such a good idea yet.

"Not so far Tim," Al answered as cheerfully as he could. "Perhaps this is a good time to remind our audience that if our grand prize winner doesn’t call within the next two minutes, we will draw again." But just as he finished, the set phone began to ring.

"I bet that’s her," Tim rubbed his hands together eagerly and then pressed the flashing red light on the phone. It began to glow steadily and Tim glanced up at the camera. "Hi, you’re on live with Tool Time. Is this Ms. Wilkins?"

"You’re damn straight it is!" an angry female voice erupted over the line. "And I’m wondering why the fuck you see fit to be flashing my name all over the TV screen."

Al’s eyes widened as Tim burst out in shocked laughter, leaning forward towards the camera. "Ah Ms. Wilkins, I’d just like to remind you that this a family show."

"Like I give a rat’s ass about that," she shot back. "Get my name off your damn show!"

"Actually Ms. Wilkins," Al interrupted, "the only reason it’s up there is because you won our grand prize giveaway and we needed you to call us." He signaled a tech operator and the name and number was pulled off the screen.

"Oh," she was quiet for a moment. "Sorry, but I didn’t sign up for anything. I just moved here."

"You mean you’ve never seen Tool Time?" Tim gasped in horror.

"She’s obviously watching it now," Lisa muttered sotto voce. Al tried to hide his grin.

"Sorry," Faith chuckled, "but honey, you just ain’t got the tools that I’m interested in." Tim’s eyes grew wide as he glanced down at himself, trying to think his way through that implication. "Or maybe too many tools. I ain’t into guys toting the rings." Tim looked confused again until Lisa nudged his hand.

"Oh!" it finally dawned on him. "My wedding rings. Oh yes! Because I am a very happily married man!"

"But your assistant now," Faith purred over the phone lines and all heads swiveled towards Lisa. It was her turn for panic. "He’s butch." The camera swung around to Al, who instead of looking upset, was smiling. "I’ve always liked butch. So is he my prize?"

"Um, ah not exactly," Tim broke in, trying to mop away a sudden trickle of sweat that had nothing to do with the overly warm stage lights. "You’ve won a single room remodeling courtesy of Tool Time and Binford tools."

"And you guys will do that?" Faith asked. Tim nodded quickly.

"Yes, Tim, Lisa and I will remodel any small room in your house at no cost to you, Ms. Wilkins," Al clarified.

"Call me Faith,"’ she invited throatily. There was a slight pause. "You know, come to think of it, my bedroom could use a little overhaul. When can you get over here… Al?"

There were blushes and catcalls and teasing and whatnot. And at the end of the day Mr. Al Borland had a hot date and Tim had another chance to make a fool out of himself as he schemed and planned just how reinforced Ms. Wilkins bed would be.