Title:
The Waking Hours
Author:
Restive Nature
Disclaimer:
All characters within this fiction are the property of Cameron/
Eglee. I just like to play with them.
Rating:
PG-15
Pairing:
M/A
Summary:
Dreams don’t often come true for Manticore-bred soldiers. So when
the chance comes along for Alec, he’s not quite sure how to take
it.
Spoilers/
Time line: Sequel to Dream Within.
Feedback:
Always welcome!
Distribution:
Ask first, please.
Chapter
Fourteen
Solitary
Soul
“So
what were you and Mole chattin' about?” Max asked of him as they
made their way to the check-in point that Dix had claimed as the
arrival point of their newest comers.
“Uh,
this and that,” Alec hedged, wondering how Max would take it now,
to being the topic of discussion. He kept an eye on her peripherally,
and she didn't seem at all perturbed that they had been talking about
her behind her back. “Just recent developments.”
“And
you got things figured out?” she asked, a smile tugging at her
lips. Alec had the sense that she knew exactly what had been going on
with them and that there were no worries or bad feelings on her part.
“We
did,” he sighed, rubbing one hand over the nape of his neck. “As
far as we ever do, I guess.”
“All
right,” she shrugged one shoulder and picked up her pace a little.
“As long as it's not gonna cause a problem down the road.”
Alec
had the sensation that she had been giving him an opportunity, but he
wasn't sure what it was for. The obvious, that he tell her what he
and Mole had said about her, didn't seem quite right. Because he
knew, without a single doubt, that if Max wanted to know,
pre-accident, and even post accident, what was going on, she would
just ask. Or demand. It wasn't the reason, it was the method that had
seemed to change. But when she wanted something, she still went ahead
and went after it. A lot like he, for the most part.
He
quieted and strengthened his stride to match her no nonsense walk,
tying to decipher if she was pissed. She certainly didn't look it.
There was the usual determination, tempered by something else he
didn't quite recognize and hadn't been able to figure out yet. It
bothered him, because he had gotten to a point where he thought he
knew every single mood that Max had. And all the nuances that went
with them. But here she was, still throwing him for a loop. She'd
probably think that was hilarious. Knowing how much time a day Alec
was having to devote to trying to figure her out now. Any female
probably would think it hilarious.
When
they finally arrived at the small group of newcomers, just three this
time, he heard Max's sharp inhale and then long sigh. He glanced down
at her, recalling the last group that she had helped bring in.
“Recognize
any of them?” he asked, half teasingly so that she wouldn't take
offense at thinking that she was hiding things from him, though of
course she was.
“Not
a one,” she replied sadly and before he could ask her for further
information, she had straightened her shoulders and was striding
forward. He followed after, scanning the area, though he knew that
any possible threats would have been dealt with and eliminated. But
still... this was Max. His brow furrowed as he tried to decipher what
was affecting her sudden down swing, though slight, in her mood.
“Hey
Luke,” Max greeted inmoderate tones, looking for the rest of the
world, happy and carefree. But Alec could see the tension, just
around the tightness of her eyes and rigidity in her back. “I see
you beat us down here.”
“Hey,”
Luke grinned as he turned away a little from the three, two males and
one female to tilt the clipboard towards Max. “Just got done taking
the vitals.”
Max
glanced over the information that Like had obviously jotted down.
“Good deal,” she nodded. “Mmm,” she glanced up at the girl.
“You'd be 412?”
“Yes
ma'am,” the girl snapped off quietly, but kept herself from
saluting, which made Max smile.
“And
have you chosen a name?” Max asked gently. The girl hesitated and
Alec started to wonder again, as he had last time, what was going on
with their leader. She had barely paid the two males any attention,
which a part of him was quite relieved about. But they were certainly
eying her with interest. Without comment, he moved in a little
closer, using the excuse of looking over Max's shoulder at the
clipboard that Luke still held between them. After that unnecessary
perusal, he glanced up at the two new X-5's, neither of which he
recognized either. He had a suspicion that they were from the Seattle
encampment, but he, being one of the escapee's twins, would have had
limited contact with them. General grunts, not on active solo
missions. Apparently they hadn't yet made the cut to assassinations,
like he had.
“Uh,
not as yet ma'am?” the girl returned, hesitantly and Max just waved
that away.
“Let
us know when you do,” she informed her and then seemed to recall
the others and glanced up at them. Alec could see their sudden
renewed posturing before Max, and while she didn't seem interested,
Alec knew that it wouldn't matter in the lomg run. Some guys got off
on a girl, any girl, appearing to play hard to get. Lord knew he...
Instead
of throwing out his usual quip about Max and naming things, he kept
his silence. He didn't want these males to think that they would have
any claim to Max at all, even if it were as simple as suggesting
names to use, beyond her being the leader of the little city they
wanted refuge in.
“Okay,”
Max nodded back to Luke. “You seem to have a handle on this,” she
announced and it was a silent approval and indication to the
transhuman to continue. She shifted back and while Alec would usually
mimic her position, he didn't move, allowing her to brush back
against his shoulder. To his utter surprise, that he tried and made
sure not to show on his face, she didn't shove him away or move
aside, just continued to hold her position.
Luke,
ignorant or at least not commenting on these little things, continued
to gather their information, turning from one to the next to
discover, already having their designations and names chosen, now
what unit mates, company numbers and specialties they could add to
the list. He heard and felt Max's wince when 412 revealed that she
had mission status under her belt and had in fact been separated from
her unit at the time of Manticore's burning because she was on her
first solo mission.
“So
you'd be Remy,” Max murmured and the girl looked surprised.
“Yes
ma'am,” she offered, her eyes puzzled until comprehension dawned
and she smiled. “They're here then?”
“They
are,” Max confirmed. “Came in a few days ago.”
“So,
they told you...” the girl tried to contain her grin and Max
chuckled, though it sounded forced to Alec's ears.
“Yeah,”
Max nodded. “And if you want to change, now's the time to do it.”
“Oh,
well, I like my name,” Remy announced, seeming relieved. “It's
from a comic.” She shrugged a little, seeming sheepish. “I like
to blow things up.”
“You'll
get along great with our munitions experts then,” Alec smiled at
the girl and felt Max shiver. He knew, just knew with every fiber of
his being that something was pricking at that over active mind of
hers.
“All
right,” Luke ran his finger over the information he'd gotten. “This
is all good. Should we head over to HQ then?” That was standard
procedure, but he still looked to Max, who after Alec poked her
gently in the back, blinked heavily and then gave him a short nod
when she came back to herself.
On
the walk over, Alec was quite surprised and very suspicious when Max
continually chatted with Remy, totally ignoring everyone else. They
chatted about what Remy had been up to before coming here, which was
of course lying low and looking for word of her unit mates. She had
tried to exhaust all avenues of reconnoitering with them on the
outside and this was her last resort, since she had heard rumors
about who was in charge. Remy seemed to have realized that she had
made a faux pas about that, but Max just waved it away. She just
quipped that you had to get to know her before you hated her, making
the whole group chuckle. Alec stayed silent and it took them until
they were almost to head quarters before he realized what might be
bothering her.
They
had just that morning with Mole, been discussing sending X-6's, of
which Remy was one, out on the recon missions. Max had been adamantly
against it and had finally given in to allowing the 6's that had
mission status to participate. Max had probably thought that she had
more.. control or something over this, but then, up popped a young
soldier and a female to boot, though it wouldn't have mattered to
Manticore. But a young girl that would be included in a mission or
more that Max seemed sure were destined to end badly. And there
wasn't anything that Alec could do to deny that. He was honest enough
to know that Max was right about that. Something that he had tried to
get her to be up front with and deal with in the first few weeks of
their self imposed incarceration. And though she was being quiet
about it, she wasn't dealing with it any better than she had before,
wrestling this question with her own conscious as she was.
Once
they had entered HQ, Alec idly checking first to make sure that they
hadn't pulled out the hover drone again between this morning and now.
They hadn't, which made sense because the call about the newcomers
had gone through HQ of course. They knew what they were doing,
especially when new unknowns were being thrown into the mix. He
stayed right by Max's side as Luke was joined by Dix for the further
debriefment. And even though they weren't touching, just standing
side by side, sort of leaning back on one of the desks, Alec could
feel the tension radiating off of Max's body.
When
it finally came time to assign quarters, Alec volunteered to take
Remy to where her unit mates were quartered. Max looked as if she
were about to protest. Alec turned to her to whisper, “Max, it's
been a long morning. You can talk to her again later. Why don't you
take a small break and we can chat when I get back.”
It
wasn't a question and he braced himself for her disapproval. But to
his surprise and pleasure, she smiled up at him. “I'll take your
advice, but I can't guarantee anything.” She then turned back and
with an impish grin at the two males, who had chosen Dirk and James
as some names to try out, said very clearly, “this is why Alec is
the perfect 2IC for me.” She turned back to him and Alec forced
himself to focus on her face, disregarding the dark look on James'
face. “I'll be up in my office when you get back.”
“I'll
bring lunch,” he agreed, referring to their usual routine.
She
nodded and with a murmured, “welcome to utopia”, to the trio,
moved gracefully away from the group and to the stairwell.
Feeling
immensely buoyed, Alec clapped his hands together. “So who's ready
to see the new home sweet?”
*****
It
didn't take Alec long to deliver Remy to her overjoyed unit mates. It
did take longer than he had anticipated in extracting himself from
their joyous reunion. They all wanted to talk and tell Remy about
their own entry into the city and give their impressions.
Surprisingly, Max's knowledge of their names and desingations didn't
register as that out of the ordinary to the youngsters. Alec realized
that it was simply, to the slightly more moldable youth, that it had
been a continuation of what Manticore had impressed upon them.
Manticore command had always been a step or more ahead of their
soldiers and knew more than you thought they did. Max, in some
circles, with rumors running rampant about her capture and consequent
second escape from their clutches, was reaching some pretty high
plateaus of amazingness in some of the transgenics eyes.
But
every time Alec was about ready to head off, the youngsters would ask
for his opinion. At last, Alec cited his need to get back to
headquarters, since he had work. He could see their eyes lighting up
at the thought of something to do and held up his hands peaceably. A
simple enough matter of letting them know that their names were being
considered on the rosters in several areas and to check in with HQ
each morning after eight. Once they were assigned to a unit or area
or someone took control of handling them during the day, they'd know.
He
didn't bother to tell them that the process of gaining these
responsibilities could be long, due to the standardized routine they
ran through for vetting their newcomers. And Remy's was just about to
start.
The
walk back to TC was marred only by the sudden but expected rain
storm. Alec, knowing that he was going to get soaked whether he ran
or walked, that heavy and fat were the rain drops, decided to make a
pit stop at his apartment.
It
had been some time since he had replaced his bundle of clothes that
he kept at headquarters for cases just like this. It was a sure bet
in Seattle that you were going to see this weather often. Once home,
he packed up some warm, serviceable clothes, resisting the urge to
change right then and there, since he had to go back out and would
just get wet all over again and clothing was one of the things he
lacked a variety and multitude of. Once the bag was as waterproof as
he could make it, Alec donned the pack and headed back out. It was
getting close to lunch time and he remembered his promise to bring
something back for Max.
Frowning
slightly, he decided that he'd check in with her, check on what was
available, retrieve lunch and then once he had returned, get out of
his wet clothes. Or better yet, he could just go to head quarters,
figure out what was available and send someone else to get it. Alec
grinned as he hurried along now. One of the great perks about being
second in command. Got to order the minions around. Sure, some of his
requests, like the one he'd just been thinking about got him back
talk and snide comments, but it got done. They were soldiers, they
were trained, the did think independently well, but they all also
knew that if Alec asked, it was because there was something else
going on he needed to deal with. So he amended his thoughts. He would
ask, not order.
That
apparently seemed to be something of a theme this day.
He
arrived at headquarters just as thunder boomed in the area and a
flash of lightning crackled down. He didn't bother to wonder about
pinpointing the area. He was inside and wasn't planning on leaving
again for a while. The short transverse of hallways to the office was
rapidly accomplished. He would have headed straight up to the upper
levels, but when he simply waved in the other occupants direction and
made for the stairs, he noted that Joshua was quick to separate from
the group and hurry over to him. He paused, one foot at the bottom
step and turned his face expectantly.
“Might
not want to disturb Max now,” Joshua instructed him gently,
glancing up at the closed office door. Alec followed his eye line and
shrugged, before patting the big guy on the chest .
“Wasn't
planning on disturbing her,” he offered. “She knows I was
stopping in when I got back.”
That
said, he began to climb up the stairs. But the tone of Joshua's next
words as well as the words themselves caught him off guard.
“Alec,”
the warning there was soft, implicit and to Alec's attuned ears,
sorrowful. “She's talking to Logan.”
It
felt as if the stairs had just given way. And his internal organs did
that strange free fall, not straight down, but rolling and tumbling
and heaving as they went. His teeth gnashed together and he could
feel the vein in his temple throbbing suddenly.
“Any
specific reason why?” he asked through his clenched jaw, trying not
to allow the sudden wealth of confusing emotions that those two, when
involving him in some weird uneven triangle caused, to show through.
He was quite sure that Joshua, nor anyone else in the building and
within hearing or sight, was fooled.
“Didn't
say,” Joshua sighed. “Just that it was a private call.”
“All
right,” Alec nodded once and then continued his ascent. “Gonna go
get changed out of these wet clothes.” The words were unnecessary,
but Alec used them anyway. To give himself time to cover, to be left
alone, to center himself once more.
As
he ducked into his office down from Max's, he berated himself
harshly. He should have seen this coming, he decided. A leopard
didn't change it's spots. It just found new cover for camouflage so
that you couldn't see it pounce on you until it was too late. And
that was how he felt. Like something was chewing up his insides.
There
was a tiny voice in part of his mind that was telling him that he
didn't have the whole story. That Max might have had a very good,
very legitimate reason for calling the wannabe computer “expert”.
Of course, everything that Logan claimed that made him an asset to
Max? Yeah, they had all that in Terminal City and more specifically
in head quarters, and in spades.
Except
for one thing.
There
was apparently no one there, in the entire city, that manipulated Max
the way he did. For as much as she did for that jack-off who had
forced his way and his philosophy onto Max, disrupting her life to
the extreme that it had. Endangering her life. That was the kind of
crap they didn't pull. But Logan...
Alec
nearly tore the short from his body after he had sloughed his shoes
and socks. Tossing it to the corner of the room, he leaned over his
pack to remove the dry clothing. But even as his hands gripped at the
edges of the bag, Alec experienced the strangest spinning of his
head. He'd not felt this before, his mind whirling until he was able
to liken it to the descriptions of vertigo that he'd read about. He
righted himself immediately, but the effect didn't go away.
He
sank down to a crouch, taking long minutes before he could admit the
truth. It wasn't any physical ailment causing this reaction. It was
purely emotional, as a fear prompted response to a situation that was
dizzying and out of his control. He had to own up to what was really
going on with him.
It
had been there all along and he had been able to accept it on it's
surface.
He
was jealous. And it wasn't just a surface realization. He had long
ago accepted his feelings for Max, complicated and intense and for a
time, to be hidden behind a facade of being all right, all the time.
He had even almost fooled himself for a while. But he didn't like
being the fool. Things had come to a head when she had lied to Logan
about she and Alec being together. There were few things that Alec
had, himself, his mind, his morals and his code of behavior were
prevalent among them. And Alec had found honor in those. He hadn't
been lying when he told her that doing what she had suggested, that
lie had been wrong, for him.
And
not because he wanted it to be truth. But because he wanted it to be
the truth, done the right way. And using him to push Logan away
hadn't been right. When Max had had her accident and then in the time
after, had severed contact with Logan and turned her focus to them,
meaning the transgenics and to him... She had asked him what his
dream was. And she had known the truth.
And
hope and yearning had bloomed in his heart. It ran like a weed
unchecked, a virus through his system. Cropping up in the most
unexpected places. And while he could try and trim it down, beat it
back, he had been unable to cut out the heart of it. He had wanted to
let it go, let it run wild and see where this led him, them. But for
one tiny thing. He had sensed, he had known, that somehow, Max
herself wasn't quite ready. She needed time. She needed to be able to
put all the past behind herself. And not just be ready to move
forward, but to embrace doing so.
And
all this time, there had been the secret hope that this was precisely
what she was doing. The laughing and the flirting, changing her
routine and how she looked at herself and others. Alec had been
guarded against it, but it ran through his very spirit that she was
getting there. It scared him, feeling that intently but having to
lock it away.
And
now as he had finally started to give in to the emotions, she had
pulled this one eighty and was right back to what she had done
before. Things got tough and she turned to Logan. She put a halt to
things between them and in just a matter of time was back on the line
with him. Did she never learn?
Apparently
not.
Alec
wanted to rage, to hurt and be hurt in a more visceral manner. If he
could achieve that, then perhaps this hurt inside would lessen. Could
find some distraction from it. But he knew that all the physical beat
down in the word would not compare. Taking several deep, long
breaths, Alec resolutely made some decisions that while maybe not for
the best of the world, was what he needed right now.
It
was time to not just lock it away. It was time to purge Max from his
system. He ignored the voice in his mind that pointed out that he was
being awfully quick to condemn her. Her actions alone didn't prove
all that much. But Alec was too reminiscent of exactly how this break
down went. And he was not going on the ride this time.
Certainly,
he decided as he quickly finished changing as he had duties that he
needed to attend to, that he would keep up with those duties. He had
come to care for Terminal City and it's latest inhabitants on his
own, with no external prompting necessary. And he was able to take
those responsibilities seriously. It was to them and himself that he
would dedicate his work. Out of necessity, they needed a leader and
since they were following Max, then he would find a way to work with
her. But this entire job would become just that, a job. No more
private meetings that weren't one hundred and twenty percent
necessary to be that way. No more seclusion for breaks and meals.
Everything would be conducted in a clear and above board manner. He
would search the rosters and find a suitable bodyguard for their
leader and if she wouldn't listen to reason about that, he knew he
could appeal to Joshua for help. And Mole as well, he was sure.
The
list making in his head went on and on until he had finished the
majority of assignments that had been weighing his desk down. He
never realized that people out on the main floor were just as worried
and as upset about what this sudden shift in the atmosphere
prophesied for them. They could all feel it, in the air, in
themselves, that things had changed. Like animals scenting the air
before a big storm was unleashed, they were all wary and tense,
reacting to the smallest of changes with watchful eyes.
The
real storm raging outside of the buildings had nothing on the one
inside.
Chapter Fifteen
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