Fiction Baby Blues- Chapter One

Title: Baby Blues

Chapter Title: Here We Go

Author: Restive Nature

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Twilight. They belong to author Stephenie Meyer and publishing company, Little Brown and Company. No infringement is intended and this fiction is for private enjoyment only.

Rating: PG-13

Genre: Twilight

Type: AU, all human

Pairing: Edward/ Tania, Edward/ Bella, Emmett/ Rosalie

Summary: One single woman, two involved brothers and one child that breaks them all apart.

Spoilers/ Time line: This is an all human story with no supernatural creatures. Main characters are late twenties to early thirties.

Feedback: Always welcome!

Distribution: Ask first please.

A/N: This fiction will be predominantly in the points of views of Edward and Bella, but there will be switches on perspective occasionally. Each switch should be clearly marked at the header of the section.

Baby Blues

Chapter One

Here We Go

BPOV

I sat in my car, the little Ford Taurus that had seen better years, which I had been driving since my college days, noting that it was blue in a way that matched my mood, far better than any belongings I ever had. A little dented, the rust starting to show through where paint had chipped off. Yes, I was definitely identifying with my car, probably more than was healthy these days. The cough and sputter of the engine as I tried to turn it over, the few false starts and the way it would not like to run on cold days that ended in 'y'. Yeah, that was me.

I lifted my gaze and started at my reflection, what little I could see of it in the rear view mirror. My eyes almost perfectly matched my hair, both a dark shade of brown. An old boyfriend had tried to come up with new words to describe the color, but aside from coffee for my eyes and mahogany for my hair (as when I was in the sun, you could see some strands of red in it), he'd been at a loss for anything poetic. And I had been at a loss for what to do with a guy that tried that hard to be artsy and pretentious. That relationship had last two weeks.

That was a stretch these days. The past few years, most of my relationships didn't last past the first few drinks on the blind dates that my friends and family happily obliged me in setting up. It wasn't until a few weeks ago, with Darren Wight, that I had finally realized what it was that was bothering me. I had spent the first half hour of our thirty-five minute date, at the park, watching all the parents with their children, in particular, a group of moms that had gathered with their adorable little babies on a blanket while the infants engaged in parallel play.

It wasn't so unusual that I knew that. It was random trivia that stuck in my brain from all the baby magazines that I sneaked a peak at. Sneaked in the library, at work, in line at the grocery store. Darren had called my attention to the fact that I was barely listening to a word that he said. I had apologized and gestured to the group of infants in various stages of rolling over and reaching for brightly colored toys.

'Aren't they adorable?' I had asked. Darren had barely glanced at them and then turned back to me. He'd snorted out a non-committal grunt and muttered an assent. And I could tell in that instant, that he was not a baby person. And that was the end of that. I had brought our date to a swift conclusion with the suddenly 'remembered' meeting I had 'forgotten' I had scheduled. As I had walked away from Darren, hurrying to get to my car and away from the temptation of those chubby little baby faces, I realized that I had suddenly gone from a confident, self employed, empowered female, to a wanna-be mommy with no baby to love. Instead of looking for love or a relationship, I had been assessing each guy on his daddy potential. And that was just wrong of me.

It had gotten me thinking. A lot. There were a lot of realizations that I had come to in those intervening weeks between now and then as I had suddenly stopped accepting the blind dates that my friends worked out. There hadn't been commentary with my good friends, just a quiet acceptance that this strangeness had suddenly ceased. Among others, well, it didn't bear thinking about, since I wasn't close to them.

Just because I was ready to settle down and start a family, didn't mean that the guy of my dreams would be ready too. Not that I'd even come close to meeting that man. Maybe the closest I could say would have been Jake, my high school sweetheart that hadn't lasted beyond graduation. The younger cousin of one of my closest friends had attended and when Jake had caught sight of Nessie's radiant red hair and stunning feature, he was gone. And strangely enough, I had been happy for him. All of my mother's talk and friend's gossip about high school relationships not lasting had struck a chord with me and I had been on the cusp of deciding if I should let Jake go then, or let it happen naturally down the road as seemed most likely would happen. But Nessie's appearance had changed all that

Sighing, I brought myself out of the memory. I rubbed at the little bit of eyeliner that was smudged under my eye. It was now or never, I tried to steel myself. I had made the decision, I had made the appointment and now I had to see it through damn it! Resolved, I grabbed my purse from the passenger seat and pulled my keys from the ignition. I got out of the car, locking the door as I did and slammed the door shut, wincing at the protesting creak of the metal. Turning, I glanced up at the imposing building loominf over the parking lot I was in. Chewing at my lower lip, I forced one foot in front of the other and headed for the entrance.

Once inside, the atmosphere was what one would expect from a non-emergency care facility. The walls were all a calming shade, the music low and mid-paced and the staff looked calm and collected, with pleasant smiles on their faces. I approached the desk to the left of the doors and saw that there were some people waiting in chairs. Mostly women, there were one or two men scattered around. The woman at the reception desk glanced up automatically as I approached.

“Bella Swan,” I told her quietly, as I adjusted my purse strap on my shoulder. “I have an appointment at 10:30.”

Hilda, as her name tag pronounced her, brought something up on the computer, her smile never faltering and then glanced back up at me. “Right Ms. Swan. You'll want to head up to the third floor. We've got you scheduled with Dr. Zheng. Turn right as you get off the elevator and the signs will direct you.”

“Thank you,” I smiled back as she nodded and returned to whatever task I had interrupted. I found the elevator banks quickly and easily enough since everything seemed to be very clearly marked. I had to admit that I was a little intimidated by the size of the place. But according to what I had read, the center was an all inclusive place, so there were many services being offered.

As noted, once I reached the third floor, I turned to my right and saw a listing of offices. I followed the arrows and made another right turn and the door was at the end of a hall. I entered to more of the same atmosphere that pervaded the main floor. It was a little quieter up here and the reception desk was immediately before me. The nurse or receptionist glanced up as soon as the door opened and I let it swing shut behind me as I moved forward.

“Hi, I'm Bella Swan,” I offered. “I have a 10:30 with Dr. Zheng,” I repeated, now knowing the doctor I was to see.”

“Hi Bella,” the woman greeted. She was reaching for the dreaded paperwork and held it out to me, neatly arranged on a clipboard and then a pen. “We'll just have you fill out these forms. You can give them to me, or to the nurse if you're not finished when she calls for you. You can have a seat over there,” she directed me to my right, her left and I nodded my thanks.

In the waiting room, I set the clipboard down, seeing two couples seated on the far side of the room, apparently engrossed in their selections from the six foot high rack of magazines. The room was pleasant enough and I saw that there was a child playing at a small table especially designed for engaging children in play, with a toy box crammed full beside it. There was one couple sitting very close and I noticed that both parents eyes would stray towards the child in a watchful manner every so often. But the child, a little boy, was very quiet, the only noises from there were the clacking of a puzzle as pieces fell together.

I removed my purse and coat and folded them onto the chair beside the one I had chosen to sit in. Once there, I picked up the clipboard again and started filling out all the needed pertinent information. At last I came to the final page, in which they were interested in knowing what services I was looking to garner from them that day. I found the relevant box and ticked it off, just as a nurse emerged from the back.

“Bella Swan?” she called. Surprised that I was getting in so quickly, I scooped up my coat and purse. The woman held the door open as another couple came out a few moments after her. The woman paused and murmured something to the nurse to cause her to smile and pat the young woman on the shoulder. They moved away with a polite nod to me and I entered the doctor's sanctuary.

“Hi Bella,” the nurse greeted as she gestured at me to follow her. “I'm Lindee, one of Dr. Zheng's nurses. She's with another patient right now, so I'm going to get you started on all the usual stuff she'll need.”

“Usual stuff?” I questioned softly, my eyes widening. Lindee nodded.

“Weight, height, blood pressure,” Lindee explained and grinned. “Nothing strenuous.”

“Oh, okay,” I nodded. That was usual medical procedure. I had been clumsy enough as a child and teen and was occasionally still so, that I had enough time in at my GP and the ER to know that. It didn't matter what was the problem, they still wanted the basics. Every single time.

Lindee showed me to a room to stow my belongings, took my clipboard and directed me to the end of another hall where the scale resided. I hopped on as she expertly manipulate the old scale and I noted that I had dropped a pound from my last visit to the doctor a few months ago. I said so and she nodded and made a notation on her chart. Things continued and once she'd gotten the pressure and temperature stuff done, she then brought up the dreaded pee sample. Embarrassed but glad that I had caffeined up this morning, I headed to the bathroom.

And then finally, it was time to get into the gown and await the busy doctor. Lindee showed me where the light was, to flip, when I was changed and ready for people to enter the room and also showed me where they stashed the magazines, since Dr. Zheng was still with the other patient. With another smile, she was off to do whatever they needed to with my sample and I was left to peruse the selections of older magazines, most of which I'd already read. I finally found a Reader's Digest and settled in to find some of the joke pages. I couldn't say how long had passed after I flipped that light switch that I heard the knock on my door and glanced up. The doorknob turned and I sucked in a deep breath.

'Here we go.'

*****

EPOV

I head a slight noise as the doorknob began to turn and I steadied myself.

'Here we go,' my mind whispered at me. I had been at the clinic most of the morning and to be honest, was completely worn out already. I was not in the mood for more meetings. But as I turned slightly in my seat, more carefully than I would have in months previous, what with this constant back pain, I was being more careful than usual.

I was relieved to see that this time it was my general practitioner, Dr. Fisher that was coming in now, rather than a nurse or the receptionist. “Hello doctor,” I greeted, standing as he entered and pushed the door shut behind him. One of his hands was full of what I assumed were the x-ray films that they had taken to try and determine the cause of my back spasms and pain.

“Edward,” he greeted with a small nod. His face was unusually reserved today, which I found lightly disconcerting. “How are you doing?”

“Well, I was okay,” I tried to joke, “but you're starting to scare me a little here. All these tests for a little back ache?”

“Well, let's take a seat and go over those tests,” he suggested, gesturing back to the desk. “We've got the answers.”

As I sank back into my seat and Dr. Fisher moved around to take his seat on the other side, a cold flash swept down my spine and made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. “I'm not going to like these answers, am I?”

“No one ever does,” he sighed, settling the folders down, fiddling with them for a moment and then straightening the glasses on his face before resting his palms on the desk. “I'm afraid it's cancer Edward.”

“C-cancer?” I stuttered out. I could feel my face scrunching up as I tried to make sense of this. “How did we get from a sore back to cancer?”

“The lumbago you've been experiencing is a side effect, a discomfort of the cancer,” Dr. Fisher was quick to explain.

“Are you sure?” I demanded then. “I mean, we just moved. I could have twisted wrong, lifted something wrong. I-!”

“I know Edward,” he gazed at me with a look so full of concern and pity, though professionals would call it sympathy and that cold feeling just didn't go away.

“There's more,” I realized astutely. “What is it?”

He drew in a deep breath before leaning forward once more and opening up one of the files. As I had suspected, there was the images of the scans they had done. “Edward, the cancer is testicular. Or it started out that way.”

I felt bile rising up in my throat, tears stinging my eyes. This... this was too much to handle and I could barely make out what Dr. Fisher was saying as the room swam and spun around me. My mind was whirling as he went on abut masses in both testes and spreading and malignancy and benign cells. But when he mentioned having me see an oncologist to schedule surgery right away, I was able to gather myself together just momentarily.

“I want Taubs,” I demanded in a whisper, my throat and mouth completely dry. “Gary Taubs. He's the best.”

I heard Dr. Fisher sigh. “Edward, Dr. Taubs is the premier oncologist in the Northwest. He's also extremely busy and it's not a good idea for you to wait on this.”

I shook my head. “He'll see me. He's good friends with Carlisle. If he knows it's me, he'll...” The tears stung at my eyes again and I had to blink rapidly to beat them back.

“All right,” Dr. Fisher nodded, making a notation on his pad of paper. “I'll make the call and send your paperwork over. You'll need to call and make an appointment with him as soon as possible.” He set his pen down and moved out from behind his desk, to come around and perch on the edge of it. I had seen my father do this many times, from afar, with his patients. “I know that this is a very serious and frightening prospect Edward,” he tried to reassure me. “But please try to remember that testicular cancer has the highest rate of survival. It's not unbeatable. Your case is unusual yes and advanced, but it is treatable. You and Tania will deal with this and...”

He went on, talking about giving me some pamphlets, but suddenly a new thought was ringing through my mind.

How on earth was I going to tell my wife?