Title:
Enough To Live On
Chapter
Title: Remembering Her
Author:
Restive Nature
Disclaimer:
I do not own the rights to Twilight, the series or characters created
within the series. They belong respectively to Stephenie Meyers.
Original characters appearing in this fiction are all that I own. No
money is being made from this fiction. No infringement
is intended and this fiction is for private enjoyment only.
Rating:
up to NC-17
Chapter
Rating- PG
Genre:
Twilight
Type:
Romance
Pairing:
Bella/ Jasper
Summary:
Bella decides that she has had enough of this merry-go-round she is
on and when she proposes her plan to Jasper, will it be enough for
them to live on?
Spoilers/
Time line: This is AU/ All human cast.
Feedback:
Always welcome!
Distribution:
Ask first please.
A/N:
I have taken the liberty of including some actual places that reside
in Seattle for the sake of some authenticity. But please be aware
that I have not visited Seattle since I was a child. Everything I
have gleaned about these places come from the Internet, so take it
all with a grain of salt!
A/N2:
This fiction is the result of my participation in NaNoWriMo 2011.
Enough
To Live On
Chapter
Four
Remembering
Her
JPOV
There
was perhaps just a few seconds after Bella exclaimed my name before
she was out of her seat and skirting the table with more grace than I
remember her having and opening her arms to me. I was surprised by
the gesture only momentarily. I knew that I had been a bit of an
introvert in some situations way back when. It was something all my
teachers commented on. But no one ever seemed to worry too much about
it in those days, because when I finally got to know a person, or was
around people I knew well, I was more engaged. But that had changed
for a while after my Mama died.
One
thing definitely hadn't changed about Bella Swan and that was her
height. Not to say that she was short, but after we'd gotten to
Texas, I'd had several final growth spurts, putting me at six foot
three inches. I towered over her as I leaned over to greet her just
as enthusiastically as she was me. She was a real sight for my tired
eyes. And finally, after many a daydream about what Bella would feel
like wrapped in my arms, during my math classes that I shared with
her, I now knew.
Soft,
warm and definitely womanly. I grinned widely. If only she knew how
many of us guys had fantasized about her, some of us before she'd
even arrived. But that was small town life for you. Any slight change
was gossip fodder for weeks on end and Bella's arrival to live with
her father after so many years apart was huge.
“Jasper,”
she repeated, though softer this time and I could hear the question
in her voice. “What are you doing here?” I gaged the tone of her
voice and she still sounded happy, though maybe a little puzzled. I
allowed myself one more light squeeze around her middle, she was such
a delicate little thing. She stepped back and looked me over, just as
I was doing with her. I had recognized her right off the bat and it
was easy to see why. Other than here hair being shorter than I
remembered and maybe her face being a little slimmer than when she
was a teen, she looked like she always had. Although her clothes were
different, but you couldn't really expect someone to keep to a decade
old style. But to me, Bella would probably look good in anything she
wore. I and many other males knew how well she wore soft cotton tees,
jeans and flannel shirts that she'd probably nabbed from her father's
closet.
I
spoke up quickly, lest she mistake my perusal and quiet as something
worse than it was. “I'm in the area on a cattle buying trip,” I
answered, shying away from the reason I was in this specific
restaurant this evening. Even knowing Bella and having been one time
classmates, there was no way in hell I could admit to her what I was
up to. I decided quickly to deflect the focus away from me. “What
about you? You still live around here?”
From
what I recalled, Bella had come to Forks from the eternally dry state
of Arizona. At least compared to Forks. She'd been miserable over
many a rainy day. At least to my fancy, she had. But the grin was
still on her face and I wondered what the odds might be that she was
visiting the area at the same time I was. She laid that thought to
rest with her answer.
“Actually
I live in Settle now,” she gestured a little with her hands. “I
went to college at U-dub and found work here, so I put down roots.”
She gestured again, sweeping her hand towards her table
that she'd risen from. “Would you like to-?” It took me just a
second to realize that she inviting me to sit down with her and since
she was the only single woman in the restaurant, aside from those
working, I supposed that either my own date wasn't here or was not
going to show. I nodded in agreement.
“It
seems I have a little time,” I smiled, pondering how I would handle
the situation if indeed my date was late. But given that I had been
fairly late myself, I was starting to doubt that she would show up.
After all, it was a delicate situation we were in, fraught with many
possibilities of going wrong, right from the outset. As I pondered
this, Bella had resumed her seat and I took the other available
chair, with my back to the door. I was about to set my hat down on
the table and realized that there was a menu there. Seeing the one at
Bella's place setting, I realized that perhaps she too was meeting
someone.
“Although
it looks like you don't,” I smirked to hide the sudden rush of
disappointment that flowed through me. Of course she was meeting
someone, probably her husband. A girl like Bella was not one that I
could see not being sought after by many a type of man. I delighted
in the blush that crept over her cheeks. Another thing that had not
changed about her.
A
lot of women couldn't carry off a blush well, but with Bella's
delicate coloring, it just highlighted her fair features. And now
there was just the slightest tinge instead of the full on red bloom,
such as my old friend Emmett McCarty liked to encourage with ribald
comments whenever Bella walked by us in the hall.
“Blind
date,” she blurted out, looking slightly panicked and I was
surprised. Perhaps she was divorced, or my mind wondered, never
married?
“Seems
he's a no show,” she continued. I could believe that. It would have
to be a man she hadn't' met before, because any sane red blooded male
would not pass up the chance to spend time with her.
“Sorry,”
I offered, though I was anything but. Perhaps she had been looking
forward to this evening? I supposed that given the amount of time
that had passed since I'd lived in Forks, Bella could have changed
quite a bit. I know that I had. Or circumstances had brought change
about for me. “Maybe he's just delayed for some reason,” I
commented, trying to remove that still panicked look in her eyes and
it seemed to work as she exhaled and relaxed in her seat again.
“True,”
she sighed and then glanced at her watch. “He's only,” she arched
one delicate eyebrow, “twenty minutes late.”
Twenty
minutes? In my mind, that was enough of a lapse that whatever
opportunity this guy had was now lost. In this day and age, he
certainly, had he been a gentleman, called her or the restaurant to
make his excuse, so she wouldn't have to sit here and wonder. If I'd
remembered the number of the restaurant, or, you know, knew my
intended date's name I'd have certainly called.
“Well,
whatever his reason,” I grinned, settling my hat on the menu, brim
up,” I'll count it as good luck on my part.”
She
giggled, which was a refreshing tinkle, to my ear and then laughed
out, “Jasper, you're just as charming a tease as I remember from
school.”
Was
that what she had thought of me? That I was a tease? Well, I could
see that from hanging around with Emmett. And I had liked her blush.
“It's not teasing when it's the truth,” I informed her with
alacrity. And lord that was the truth, I did think it was lucky for
me to be in the here and now. She looked like she was about to say
something, but her head turned as I caught someone approaching our
table out of the corner of my eye. I held my sigh of relief when I
realized it was just the waitress that had been hovering by the door
to the kitchen.
“Hi
there,” the woman greeted, her body turned towards me. “What can
I get you to drink?”
I
glanced up at her, “I'll have a glass of iced tea please,” I told
her. She didn't correct me about the beverage choices, so I guess
they still had it on the menu.
“All
right,” she nodded and then glanced at Bella before looking back to
me. “And are we ready to order, or would you like another minute?”
I
understood quickly that since Bella already had a glass of wine
before her and the menu's were hers, this waitress must have assumed
that I was the one Bella was waiting on. Well, I wasn't, but I was
never one to waste the opportunities handed me, not anymore. I winked
at Bella, wondering if she would play along.
“What
would you recommend Bella?” I asked as she sat there, frozen.
“Everything
is wonderful here,” she spoke quietly and then blushed, before
stuttering, “I m-mean on the menu.”
I
chuckled when I realized how her words could be misconstrued, and
probably were, by others. Knowing she probably needed a moment to
regroup, I turned back to the waitress. “i think we'll need a few
minutes,” I instructed. The woman nodded and moved off and I turned
back to the woman across from me. “I'm sorry Bella, for just
assuming-” I began to apologize for intruding on her night. Perhaps
she had made different plans in the wake of her date not panning out.
“Oh
no,” she cried out. “It's fine. I just-!” she began, but then
stopped, looking frustrated and I was intrigued as to what was going
on in her mind. In some things, Bella had been clear as a bell, but
she had never been like other teenaged girls, at any time I had known
her. She sat back a little in her seat, her eyes beseeching.
“It's
just,” I hastened to explain, without giving too much away of what
my own private plans had been for the evening. I shrugged one
shoulder and went on, “Well, it looks like my meeting tonight isn't
going to happen and there isn't much I'd rather than having dinner
with a beautiful woman. If you don't mind me crashing?” I ended
with a hopeful note in my voice. She looked immediately relieved and
I took in a deep breath in preparation of her answer.
“Oh
no, that's fine,” she smiled. “I was thinking along those same
lines myself.” She wanted to have dinner with someone she could
relax with rather than dealing with the awkwardness that went along
with meeting someone new and unknown. Well, I could understand that
and she confirmed it with her next words. “I'd rather catch up with
you than have to force small talk over lasagna.”
Tiring
rapidly of thinking of this mystery man that might still show up and
whisk Bella away for the rest of the evening, I seized upon her last
words to change the subject. Whoever he was, this guy had lost his
chance and I was making it mine.
“Do
they still have their famous lasagne's?” I asked happily as I slid
the menu out to open and look over. I could remember the wonderfully
gooey concoctions and how my parents would allow me a double order,
as I was a growing boy and all.
“They
do,” Bella answered with enthusiasm in her voice before she leaned
across the table and spoke quietly. “I stop by regularly for their
vegetarian at least several times a month.” I eyed her
thoughtfully. You sure couldn't tell that by the slimness of her
lines. Perhaps she worked out regularly as well, since I knew that
Assagio Ristorante's lasagne's were carb laden heart attacks waiting
to happen. And the only reason I knew that was because Char had put
Pete on a reduced carb diet a few years back when they were all the
rage. I hadn't heard the end of that until several months after the
diet had ended.
I
nodded as I glanced over the dinner menu. There wasn't a thing, aside
from the sidebar of lasagna choices, that I recognized. “So many
changes,” I mused and then realized that I had said that out loud.
I glanced back up to Bella. “I haven't been here since I was a
teenager,” I explained and then realized how stupid that sounded.
Of course I hadn't. I had moved away and there hadn't been reason,
until now, to come back.
“Mmm,”
she agreed and I was relieved that Bella was sensitive enough not to
point out my stupidity. “Things didn't change until about six years
ago, when new management took over. They redecorated, but it was
until they hired their new chef that the menu got reworked.” I
listened with interest, seeing that Bella really did love this
restaurant. She must if it was a regular hangout to her. “And
believe me, Troy is a genius.” She finished her explanation and I
found that I was slightly jealous. I struggled not to let it show,
because I was sure that it would take Bella by surprise if I were to
show my ire at this beautiful woman knowing another man and one that
had the pleasure of providing something Bella craved at regular
intervals. I had to stop that line of thought immediately as my body
tensed slightly all over.
“You
know the head chef personally?” I grinned, though my face was
aching to twist a different way and then chuckled with relief as she
shrugged. Probably wasn't anything major if she were so dismissive of
him.
“I
had a birthday dinner here and he made me a special tiramisu and
delivered it to the table to see my reaction when I ate it,” she
explained. That I could believe. The look on her face as she recalled
what I hoped was the dessert and not the delivery boy was stirring my
blood. Maybe Pete's suggestive taunts earlier this morning weren't so
far off the mark. “It was heavenly!” she sighed
“Well,
I trust your opinion,” I decided. Since she had seen much more of
this restaurant than I had, then I would go with her suggestions if
she offered any other. But something had finally caught my eye. “But
this Capesante looks mighty interesting.”
“That's
really good too, especially with the sea scallops,” she instructed,
which was the direction I had been leaning towards.
“All
right then,” I snapped the menu shut and put it aside. I was about
to ask what she preferred, though she had already shown a preference
for the lasagne's, but our waitress returned with my iced tea.
“And
have we decided?” she asked swiftly after setting my drink before
me. She was watching me and I was momentarily irked at her disregard
of the lady I was seated with.
“Yes,”
I nodded once and stared straight at Bella, hoping the woman would
take my hint. She didn't and so I asked Bella what she would care to
have. Her eyes dropped to glance at the menu once more before she
ordered the meal she obviously wanted, surprising me that it wasn't
the lasagna. After writing it down, the waitress turned to me and I
ordered the Capesante with scallops. I was offered the choice of
salad or soup and since I didn't care much for bagged salad mixes,
which was what most restaurants served, and I didn't want to take the
chance, I ordered the soup. I held out my menu for the girl and as
she took it, she asked,
“And
would you care for anything to start with?” She took Bella's as
well as she glanced between us. Anything that prolonged the evening
was in my mind a good thing and I smiled at Bella.
“What
say we split an order of Carta Musica?” I tried to tempt her. I
could care less what it was and that was the one thing I remembered
seeing that was definitely not new on the menu, but still nothing I
had tried when I was a teenager. “I
see they still have it,” I urged as she seemed to think it over.
“Someone
having a yen to remember the good old days?” she
teased and I realized that perhaps it seemed that way. She nodded and
I glanced up at the waitress and nodded my consent. She quickly wrote
it down on her pad of paper and then moved off again. At least
though, I did have an explanation about my order.
“Living on a cattle ranch,” I began, “we eat beef, beef and more beef. So I try to get away from that whenever I eat out.” Which was the absolute truth. But it wasn't actually from being over glutted on beef. It was because seeing what went into the feeding and care of the animals, I was a little more particular about the quality of the beef I ate than others might be. But it was difficult to explain to someone that didn't know the differences between regions in the cattle raising business.
“Sounds
like a wise idea,” she agreed mildly. I realized that though the
table was decent sized for eating off of, it certainly didn't leave
room for extras and my hat was definitely in the way. I was about to
ask Bella if she might know where I could put it, since I wasn't very
enthused about hanging it off the back of my seat. I certainly didn't
want it knocked to the ground, especially as it was fairly new. But
then I spotted a rack of hooks, some with coats and hats already in
place and with a small “excuse me” to my dining partner, I stood
and placed my hat at the end closest to us. As I returned to the
table, I cast my mind about for an acceptable topic of conversation
between old acquaintances, but there was really only one train of
thought on my mind.
“So,
I take it from what you said about a blind date, you're not married?”
I asked. I figured that it was for the best to get this out of the
way immediately. I wanted to know where Bella stood and to let her
know where I was in my life. True, on the surface it might seem like
I was a young man on the rise with plenty to offer a woman, but as
the old saying went, looks could be deceiving.
“Nope,”
she answered shortly, but continued on. “Thought I was close a few
times, but it didn't work out. You?”
I
shook my head, wondering if it were even possible that she could be
interested in taking a chance on anything with me. I laughed softly
at my wishful thinking and realized that I should answer her
question. “Not for lack of trying on my step mom and sister in
law's part, though.”
“That's
right,” she leaned her elbows on the table and rested her chin in
one hand. “Dad told me that your father remarried a woman that had
a son. Was he older or younger than you?”
I
was pleased that she was showing interest in my life and these topics
were actually easier for me to focus on than what some others might
be.
“Peter's
four years younger,” I told her, “and lord was he a pain in the
ass,” I rolled my eyes, at just the thought of some of the antics
he had pulled when I had first met him. “Pardon my language,” I
offered belatedly but Bella just laughed and wiggled her fingers. And
then realized that I wasn't giving her a very good impression of the
family that Dad had chosen. “Not to say he still isn't, but time
and Char, that's his wife,” I knew that I was throwing names she
wouldn't recognize at her and felt it rude to not at least offer some
explanation, “have dulled it to a minimum.”
“I
suppose it was a big change for you,” she offered softly.
“It
was,” I sighed contemplatively. This was actually something I had
thought on a few times over the years. “Although I think I made
more of it than it actually was. Thinking back on it, I realize that
Pete was having just as much trouble adjusting to having a new family
as I was. He just acted out differently than I did.”
She
seemed to think that over for a few moments before agreeing, “I
suppose,” she seemed contemplative. I wondered if she'd ever had
that happen, knowing as I did that her father was still unmarried
when we had left Forks. I decided once again, to simply ask, as it
seemed the best way to find out.
“So
how about you? Any sudden siblings that popped up on you radar
unexpectedly?” She grinned immediately.
“No,”
she declared emphatically. “My mom and Phil never had any kids of
their own. They're both too happy with the kids they teach.”
I
pondered that for a moment, remembering all of the gossip that had
swirled around about Bella before and at her arrival. I could have
sworn that her step father was a baseball player. It was my childhood
dream, or had been, until I had discovered rodeo. “i thought your
step dad was a baseball player?” I asked, trying to clarify. Maybe
her mother had divorced and remarried another Phil. Although that
would be extremely odd. Or perhaps the man had retired. I chuckled.
“Lord, I thought that was the coolest job when I was younger,” I
admitted. Bella's face lit up a little and she perked up, taking her
chin out of her hand.
“I
didn't know that,” she commented. “No, just before my senior
year, Phil was injured and it took him out of the running for most
clubs. So instead, he found a job coaching high school sports down in
Jacksonville. Renee got a job teaching kindergarten and they've been
living there ever since.”
I
had to grin a little at her use of her mother's name. She had
constantly called her parents by their first names, something I knew
none of my parents, step or otherwise would have put up with.
“Oh
wow,” I nodded. “So, I bet you were happy to have them settled
again. You weren't real fond of Forks' weather, as I recall.” I
could still remember the first time I had seen Bella, walking into
the class we shared on her first day, huddling under her hood,
shivering violently. Anyone could have told her that the light jacket
she wore was no match for the near constant rain cloud cover of the
town. Luckily, Mr. Jamison, our math teacher, had noticed her
shivering and told Eric Yorkie to move to the empty seat at the front
of the class to let Bella have the seat closest to the heater,
placing her, by fate I wanted to think, right next to me. Where she
remained for the rest of the year.
“Actually
it kind of grew on me,” she admitted, surprising me. She shrugged.
“And by then, I'd settled in with Charlie and made some good
friends. So when Renee offered to have me join them, I decided to
stay with Dad. I didn't want to start over at my senior year. Didn't
make sense. And U-dub was cheaper than Florida state.” She added
that on almost as an after thought, though I could certainly
understand her reasoning. I was about to ask more about that, noting
that she had called her mother by name, but her father Dad. Did that
indicate anything special. I was sure it did.
But
at that moment, our waitress returned, carrying with her several
plates. She set the largest between us and then settled smaller
plates beside the appetizer. Just as predicted, it looked heavenly
and smelled delicious. The girl checked about our drinks and I
realized that I was so taken by our conversation and looking at the
beautiful woman across from me that I hadn't even really touched my
dink. Once the girl moved away, I took my fork from the rolled napkin
and moved one of the pre-sliced wedges of bread to a plate. I offered
it to Bella and she took it with a slim hand, placing it before
herself. She retrieved her own fork while I took my appetizer onto
my own plate. Using the side of the fork, I sliced a piece off and
copying Bella, swirled it around a little in the oil that had come
with.
“So
what did you end up doing, after you graduated?” I asked with
interest. The fresh taste of just baked bread flavor, with it's
sprinkling of herbs and cheese burst in my mouth and it was indeed as
delicious as it smelled. She took a moment to eat a small bite of her
bread and chewed and swallowed before answering,
“I
actually got my certification in accounting.”
I
stared at her for a moment, disbelieving. “Seriously?” I laughed.
I cut that off immediately when she stiffened. “Sorry, but didn't
you used to hate math?” That was definitely something I had
noticed. I had been passably good at it, but had sometimes wished I
was better so that I could offer to tutor her. She relaxed and
nodded.
“Math
no, advanced calculus, very much,” she replied teasingly, but then
turned more serious. “But I was determined to overcome that minor
defect. And I've found that accounting is actually very easy.
Everything has to balance and once it does, everything is good.”
“I
suppose,” I murmured. I hated to say it, but I couldn't agree, not
totally. “Can't say I like having to do the ranch's books. I'd
rather be out working with the animals.”
I
was about to say more, when I felt a sudden chill across my back. I
noticed that Bella had glanced up, looking over at my shoulder and
then shivered. I wondered at her reaction and turned to glance over
my shoulder what had caught her attention, hoping that it wasn't this
blind date that she had been waiting on. Or worse, that it was mine.
But seeing only a large group that were all obviously together, I
ignored them, realizing she was probably shivering because of the
cold draft swirling about the room because of their entry. I turned
back to my dinner companion, relaxed once more to see her pulling her
sweater tighter around herself. A flash of silver blinded me
momentarily and I froze as the message on my cell phone replayed in
my mind.
“I'll
be wearing a silver pin with a red gem in it, so you'll know it's
me.”
Bella? She was the woman I was
supposed to meet tonight? Bella was the one that had placed that ad
in the newspaper. She was the one that wanted-!
“A silver pin with a red gem in it,”
I whispered. Could it be a coincidence? After all, she hadn't been
completely specific and I stared at the pin on Bella's sweater. A
silver swan piece, with a red chip where the eye would be on the
animal. There could be other silver pins with red gems, couldn't
there?
But then I heard her squeak and my
eyes flew back up to her face. She was redder than I'd ever
remembered seeing her, her eyes wide, looking, well, like she'd just
been caught out. And I didn't know, whether to be mortified myself or
ecstatic.
Bella Swan could be mine. And all I
had to do was play my cards right.
Chapter Five- Something of an Awkward Situation
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