Fiction Anything To Zipper- Enough

Title: Anything To Zipper

Chapter Title: Enough

Author: Restive Nature

Disclaimer: I do not own Dark Angel. This show belongs to Fox and Cameron/ Eglee. No infringement is intended and this fiction is for reading pleasure only.

Rating: PG-15 (for language)

Genre: Dark Angel

Type: friendship

Pairing: Max/ Alec

Summary: Enough- def.- adequate for the want or need; sufficient for the purpose...

Spoilers/ Time line: Post "Freak Nation".

Feedback: Always welcome.

Distribution:Ask first, please.

A/N: ~eye roll~ I think there is an unwritten rule out there somewhere that Alec always has to get hurt physically in the course of a longer fiction. Am I wrong? Maybe, but I'm sure not going to deny the exploitation of it, since it seemed to happen enough on the show as well...

Enough

Everything was hazy, bright points of light in the shades of gray surrounding him. Alec couldn't tell if he was supine or upright as he floated through this haze. Sounds were muted, though still there, almost like a radio left on low in the background of a room. In all, it wasn't that bad, but there was something that was tugging at his mind and he tried to shake his head to clear the cobwebs, but found that this part of him was somehow immobilized and his throat clogged. He could deal with that, as soon as it was that he remembered what he had forgotten.

At least he thought he had forgotten. There was something nagging at him and if he couldn't remember what was causing that sensation, then logic followed...

It was the sudden bloom of pain in his chest area that brought him startled, gasping out of that absurd haze and dispelling that film of non-reality. He tried to swear as the piercing and throbbing grew, bringing a devastating blackness with it. Memory was right on the forefront of that wave and Alec took the knowledge in even as he fought to push black the darkness. On the whole, the gray haze was a lot more welcome than oblivion at this point. He needed to know that he had done enough.

Enough, such a simple word. In the old days, back at Manticore, it would not have been approved of. 'Enough was never enough', had been their creed. Their soldiers always had to go above and beyond. But in truth, enough was enough because enough was adequate to the want or need to the desired outcome. So if an enemy was to be surveilled, it was watched over. If an enemy needed to be killed, then it was killed.

Alec had learned those lessons over and over again. He, despite what others might think of his behavior and morals, knew when things were enough. For instance, he knew when Max had had enough of his teasing. He knew when Sketchy had had enough beer. He knew when Cindy had had enough of his macho posturing around her girlfriends. Of course, all those things were all in good fun.

This time, enough had been different.

Had he been adequate? Had he been sufficient?

He needed to know if he'd been enough.

And unfortunately, the answer did not come to him before the blackness finally took him over.

*****

When next Alec awoke, the pulling and the throbbing had lessened. That was good in his opinion. But it was worse in that there was a large ache surrounding the throbbing, as well as a new pinching in his arm, a numbness from his waist down and a fairly massive headache that told him he was paying the physical price for his earlier actions.

He was hazy again and he hated being hazy and in pain. And something nagged and he felt a queer sense of deja vu that he concentrated hard on until he figured out what it was that was so familiar about this scene. And then he realized that before he had blacked out, that this was exactly what he'd been thinking of before. And he still didn't know the answer.

Had his actions been enough?

He tried to call out for someone, but a new problem presented itself. He couldn't speak due to a large tube stuffed down his throat, which explained the full, clogged feeling he'd been feeling all along.

“Alec?” a feminine voice came and Alec wanted to curse again. It wasn't actually the voice he had been hoping to hear.

“Hold still,” the voice continued and it took him a moment to place it and then things clicked as sense started to bring itself out of his slightly confused chaos. “You just came out of surgery a little while ago,” Nat continued. She was one of the erstwhile nurses that wasn't actually a nurse, but a Manticore trained field med that Pyr had pressed into service when he had need in the infirmary. “Woke up a little sooner than we thought you would. Let me go get Pyr and let him know you're awake.”

Alec groaned again, reaching out, groping blindly with the hand that wasn't being pinched and held down. Nat seemed to understand what he wanted. Her hand appeared under his and he squeezed as much as he was able.

“Do you need some more pain meds?” she asked quickly. “Blink once for no, twice for yes,” she instructed. He forced his heavy lids upward and carefully blinked once. Nat sighed good naturedly. “That's what I thought you'd say. Anyway, I'll get Pyr and after he checks you over, then we can maybe think about doping you up again, because even if you don't want to admit it, you're going to need it. And maybe we'll even admit some of your admiring throng. Okay?”

It wasn't a question, even if she framed it as such. Alec knew firsthand what dicks the med team could be when it came to their turf. And being in the recovery ward, he was most definitely set on their turf, as was the throng, as she put it.

“Every thing's okay now Alec,” Nat assured him as she deftly maneuvered his hand back to rest gently by his side. She didn't touch him otherwise, for which he was grateful. The aching bruise felt like it was growing larger by the minute and he knew that not long down the road, he might be reconsidering those pain meds.

He watched her slip out the door and was relieved by the chatter he could hear beyond, most likely in the hallway, though he didn't have the capabilities at the moment to differentiate between more than a mix of male and female at the moment. He let his eye drift shut.

They opened what seemed seconds later as their resident transgenic doctor, though he held no school approved certificate, pushed through the door.

“And he's back again,” Pyr snorted as he made it through the doorway. Alec didn't have even an iota of the energy needed to flip the guy off and Pyr seemed to realize it as he guffawed. He was looking at Alec's side as he made his way to the bedside. Alec realized belatedly, as more discomfort surged through him, that his automatic reaction had attempted the casual flip in his hand and fingers anyway. “I thought I told you last time that I didn't want to see you for at least another six months.”

Alec wanted to tell him off. He'd been doing what he had to do. And Pyr, despite all the bullshit medical crap, was a soldier first and foremost. He knew. But there was this damnable tube shoved down his throat. And then his fingers were fluttering again. Why was that? Seemed to be his only method of conveying whatever his mind was trying to assert, because that blinking for yes and no wasn't going to cut it. When Pyr's face slowly grew calm and noted the frantic hand spasm, he watched with concern and then suddenly his face grew light again.

“Shit, Alec, I shoulda known,” he shook his head, bemused and Alec wondered... he couldn't quite feel what was going on there, what with the various points of burning, throbbing pain and numbness in others, he had no clue what his hand was about. “But hey,” Pyr went on, “do that with your toes and I'll be even more impressed!” He moved down the bed and pulled the sheet loose and then as he held it up, Alec lost sight of what was going on, his angle on the bed in a recline mode and not fully upright. “Good deal,” he heard Pyr mutter. And then there was more pain. Granted not as bad as his chest, or neck, or back, or even his legs, but the stabbing little pinprick was all the more magnified by the pain he was already in. He let out a small grunt and the sheet lowered to reveal Pyr's assessing gaze. “What about this?” and there was pain in the other foot. Alec could have sworn he was growling, but all his ears heard was a slight whimper and then there was like a rip of pain in his legs. “Good Babinski.”

Alec grimaced, or tried to, around the tube, knowing that he should know and understand what the hell Pyr was talking about. The sheet lowered completely and the doc was muttering to himself about getting another blanket on him. When he noted Alec staring at him, he half smiled. “You're a little chilly. We'll get a warm blanket on ya.”

He moved back around the bed and pulled a stool over so that he could seat himself easily. He put something back in his pocket that Alec couldn't quite make out. “Okay, we've just had a good reaction for your legs, so I'm pretty sure that we're not going to be dealing with any paralysis.” Alec's eyes widened immediately with that and all stings of hurt were forgotten in that revelation and Pyr winced as he seemed to realize. “Sorry man, I don't know how much you remember from when you came in. So I'm just gonna have to lay it on the line. The bullet in your spine was the last one to come out and I'll tell you, it was borderline. But every test on your legs was iffy until now. We figured it for extra fluid and swelling around the area, that kept you from reacting. But we'll keep an eye on it.”

Alec felt Pyr's hand settle on his again, stilling the agitated movement. There was something niggling at his mind, in the haze. Something he needed to know. Was it enough?

“The bullet in your thigh nearly nicked the artery,” Pyr shook his head. And then he softened his tone. “I know you're in pain, but you need to listen before we go there.”

Pain, Alec wanted to scoff. Yeah, there was pain, but already or still, his body was dealing. Like surfing, riding the waves of it, he could feel the crescendos coming and instead of fighting it, he was riding it, cataloging it and letting down gently, while his mind was occupied with another matter. Manticore had taught them this, pain management, for a reason. Had taught him a little too well how to take a bullet though...

“The bullet that collapsed your lung,” Pyr started to go on, but Alec really wanted this part over. He was awake, not quite breathing on his own, but he'd be fine. He just had... enough, he had to know. Pyr's startled eyes darted down again as Alec struggled to make something be known... heard, as it were. “Fuck, Alec, do that again.” He watched intently as the only method that Alec seemed to have for conveying anything started up without prompt from the conscious part of his mind and then Pyr chuckled. “I suppose I should have started with that, put your freakin' mind to rest.” He settled his palm over Alec's hand and looked him square in the eye. “Max is fine.”

But it wasn't enough and the other man seemed to realize this. He squeezed, just slightly on the hand that was still moving. “You got to her in time. The bullets never touched her. She has a small concussion from where her head connected with the ground and that's all. Small loss of consciousness of course, but Josh and Cor have been watching over her, ever since you guys were brought in. She's down the hall, waiting, in her own room where it's nice and quiet. Now,” he seemed to want to change the subject, but Alec, the pain blooming behind his eyes again, felt this time, the words his fingers had been struggling to form this time around.

L-I-A-R

Pyr saw it too, when he watched again. “I'm not lying Alec,” he offered softly, seriously. He moved his hand to gently pat his patient's shoulder. The one that wasn't all bruised up. “No one, not one of the rescue team knows how you managed to do it. But when White walked up on you, you did it. You protected her. That bullet he meant for her head? It went into your neck. The only blood on Max, was yours.” He held Alec's gaze, “and once you're calmed down and get some more pain meds in you, I'm going to let her walk in here, under her own steam to sit with you and you can see for yourself that I'm not lying, okay? So let me finish up with you, before she tears someone's head off.” The last may or may not have been a joke, Alec couldn't quite tell. But at least his question had been answered.

“Okay good,” Pyr seemed satisfied and removed his hands, his eyes darting between Alec's eyes and the hand that was closest to him. “Now, we got the bullet out of your lung, but combine with the bullet that tore up your throat, there's concern for your breathing. Best recommendation right now is to leave the tube in for a few more days. Make sure everything is healed up...”

Slowly, everything began to fade again, as the tiredness overtook Alec again. He could vaguely sense Pyr's voice trailing off.

Blessed sleep claimed him, ready as he was.

*****

When Alec woke next, Pyr's form had been replaced with a much more familiar and welcome one. He blinked slowly, his hand twitching, reaching, wanting to know if it was real, or just more fevered dreams. But then he felt her tiny hand in his.

“Hey,” she spoke gently, quietly, her lips curving into a tremulous smile. “Pyr told me you've been wearing your hands out trying to talk to everyone. You know how many jokes I could make about that?” she teased. Alec blinked several times. Well, that was strange of her and then he tried to smirk, but that damn tube. And then she was chuckling and tilting her head to the side. “Okay, not that many. But you? You'd be all over that, wouldn't you?” He waggled his eyebrows, just a little and it seemed to convey enough as her other hand came up to soothe his brow.

Was he still dreaming?

Maybe not, cause a scene like this, he wouldn't be out of action in a rigged up hospital bed, unable to talk or move and the pain he remembered from before, although slightly less now, if he thought about it, gearing up for another round of kick Alec's figurative ass.

“Any pain?” she asked next. And then rolled her eyes at herself. “Any significant pain that needs immediate attention or medication?” she clarified specifically. “Blink... what was it? Once for no, twice for yes?” Alec blinked once slowly.

“No? That wasn't it?” Max frowned, looking much more like herself as she did and Alec wanted to grin at her sudden confusion. He blinked once again and then Max chuckled softly. “Oh, no pain?” He blinked once, waited and then blinked twice. She was confused. He'd never tell her... probably never tell her, but it made her look adorable to him. “This isn't working well,” she grunted and then looked down at the hand that it felt like to him, she was stroking a digit over. “Do you have enough energy?” she asked delicately.

He moved his finger and thumb to make and “okay” gesture, but it felt sloppy to him. She got it anyways.

“Okay, any pain?” Y-E-S. “Is it manageable?” Y “Do you want some pain medication anyway?” N-O. Max gave him a disbelieving stare then and then her face softened once more. She brushed her hair back from her face where it was starting to fall forward and Alec could see the stark white bandage over her temple. He winced a little as he knew that Pyr had been lying to him! H-E-A-D, his fingers dashed out. “Your head?” Max asked worriedly. He tried to shake it, but it was too much effort

But then understanding dawned on her. “Oh, my head?” She reached for and then encountered the bandage and she smirked, pulling at the tape. “Forgot about that,” she muttered as she pulled the gauze free and Alec could see the scrape mark on her skin. She tossed the gauze off to the side. “Don't know why they bothered,” she complained quickly, scowling. “Didn't even bleed.”

At her admission, Alec felt himself relaxing again and the throbbing that had been building, receded. There was quiet as Max sat, regarding him, emotions shifting through her face, cycling so rapidly that he couldn't keep up with the changes in the state he was in. But finally, she settled and squeezed at his hand once more. He waited. She had to moisten her lips several times, but he found his patience, he always did for her. And when she finally spoke again, he had already managed to shunt everything that might drag his attention away from her, to a dim corner of his mind and forgot about the rest.

“When I...” she started and immediately faltered. “Seeing you...” She heaved a sigh and chewed at her lower lip. Alec was about to give her an out, to tell her to just yell at him and get it over with, but it seemed she already figured that out. “I should be reaming your ass out right now Alec,” she began, her voice heavy and pained, stripped and raw. “Pulling a stunt like that and it doesn't matter how many times you tell me that you were trained for this and protection details means blah blah blah and all that crap. I saw White and...” she swallowed heavily, her other hand now joining the one that was clutching desperately at his. “I swore to myself, that no matter what, I'd find a way to tell you. You protected me and when we... went down, before I... I swore that... to myself... but,” she inhaled sharply and he could see a tear glistening in the outer corner of her eye. “I prayed Alec. I prayed that this wouldn't be the end. Because, there just wasn't enough time. To tell you...”

He had never wished more that he could will his limbs to respond. To comfort her as she needed. But perhaps the wavelengths that they were one were right there side by side as she smiled again and moved one hand to reach for his brow. Her fingers were gentle as they swept his hair back and carefully cupped his cheek. “There wasn't enough time to convey everything that I needed to tell you. But for right now, just don't leave me. I swear, I'll get through it all, one way or another. Tell you everything, okay?”

He tried to nod. Tried to communicate that he got it. That whatever had been growing between them, that he had never been quite sure that she'd recognize... she was getting there. Maybe already there.

And as she continued to talk, slowly falling back to a teasing banter that was very one sided, Alec grew sleepy again. His mind at peace. He had done enough, he knew. He had gotten them to this point and now she was proving that maybe Manticore did have one or two things right. She was giving him the above and beyond that they knew their soldiers had been capable of.

AtZ- Frosting