Restive Nature
Rated NC-17 (Eventually)
Disclaimers- I do not own Dark Angel, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, or Angel the Series. They belong respectively to Cameron/Eglee and Joss Whedon. No profit is being made, unless you count hysterical giggling...
Summary-Sequel to "Darkest Angel". Buffy has always known Connor. And he’s always remembered her. How come no one remembers how?
Author’s Notes- I suggest that you read "Darkest Angel" first, so that you know where this story picks up and what things transpired after Buffy defeated the First Evil. And for those of you with the same name as I’ve given for Max, well, I love these names…just not for her!
Chapter One
Yearning
"I want a baby," Buffy sighed quietly, her head resting on Spike’s shoulder. They’d been sitting, somewhat uncomfortably in this pew for the last forty minutes. Normally they wouldn’t have even bothered with being in a church, but they made the effort for Angel. It was his and Max’s wedding day, at long last. Their daughter, Eva, was seven months old and Angel had been human almost as long. But still, it was a wedding and there were naturally delays. So, though they’d been running a little late, due to some unscheduled slayage, they were still in plenty of time for the nuptials.
They’d slid into a pew a few rows back, on the groom’s side. Not that sides really mattered as Max and Angel had mostly the same friends. But there were some people that Max knew from her time working as a bike messenger. And there were people that Angel met over the years through his job. They’d quietly greeted Kennedy and Dawn, and then Buffy glanced around for Giles. It wasn’t until she caught sight of the woman in the front pew, holding Eva, that she realized her old mentor was preparing to walk his daughter down the aisle. The chasm that had appeared in their relationship after he’d gone back to England the first time, was nearly complete. Buffy had felt a little hitch in her chest as she contemplated this. She’d been the daughter he’d never had for so long, she didn’t know how to be anything else. But as Giles had tried to point out to her, they no longer needed each other.
Buffy had thought about that a lot. True, they didn’t need each other in the physical sense that one needed air. But still, she wanted him in her life. He filled a void for her as well. And while she knew that Giles would never consciously shut her out completely, it felt that way more and more. It didn’t help seeing Dawn here either. Boarding school had been wonderful for her, even though she’d complained at first. But she’d met new friends and didn’t have to worry about evil things trying to slash her into portal opening pieces. But just to keep her kid sister from complaining, every time she visited, Buffy and Spike would take her out on patrol. Seeing her so happy, just illustrated to the petite Slayer how people were growing away from her.
Normally, she’d have Willow or Xander beside her to comfort her. But Xander had felt the need to find himself after they lost Anya. She’d been the love of his life, until he’d walked away from her on their wedding day. They’d been working their way back to one another, until true life had interfered and Anya had sacrificed her life for another. So now, he was somewhere in Europe, learning to be the man that would have made the ex-vengeance demon even more proud.
Willow was at the wedding. Except, she wasn’t there in the role of Angel’s ex-lover’s friend. No, she was one of Max’s bridesmaids. Somehow, Willow’s research talents had brought the two women closer. Buffy felt the normal jealousy one always felt when one’s best friend found someone else to hang out with. But she pushed it aside, because she could clearly see that they were more acquaintance friends than life-long, survived-fifty-apocalypses, some-of-which-I-may-have, oops-caused type of friends. Everything and everybody was moving away from her. Except Spike.
Spike had been sitting, fairly quiet for the most part, since they’d arrived. Every once in a while, he’d get the sudden urge to duck out for a fag. But once he’d become human again, that habit was quickly nipped in the bud. And not because Buffy was so opposed to it. No, it was for the simple fact that the Marlboro’s that he’d once favored tasted so different to his human palette, that he’d nearly become sick. So out they went. He just wished he smoked in moments like this, simply for something to do with his hands. He watched as Angel and his groomsmen finally made their way out of an antechamber and brightened a little. Finally, the bloody ordeal was about to get started.
Angel had approached Spike a few months back. Spike at first, had been on guard about what the topic might be. But after a few beers, Angel hesitantly brought up the subject of the wedding. Spike recalled how he’d almost frozen in shock; sure that Angel was going to ask him to be best man, or some other rot nonsense. But in fact, Angel had apologized for not choosing Spike as one. His reasons were that even though they had the longest history, there was just too much of it for either to be completely comfortable around each other. And Spike had laughingly agreed. Sure, they had things in common. But it was those very things that tore what could have been a friendship apart. So they were content in tolerating each other, recognizing that they were different people now. Spike pulled his attention back to the present when he heard Buffy murmur something.
"What was that luv?" he asked softly, his head tilted down to hers. She wasn’t looking up at him though. She was staring across the aisle at something and he followed her line of vision and smiled.
"I said I want a baby," she repeated herself.
"Right now pet?" he teased. "I don’t think Angel would be too impressed if we were to shag on his wedding day before he did, and in a church too." She poked him quickly in the ribs, trying to suppress a giggle and not quite making it. Angel heard and glanced over and frowned at them, making it tougher not to bust out laughing. Spike smiled apologetically at the other man, then turned Buffy’s red face into his shoulder until she could compose herself.
The wedding march preamble began before they could discuss the baby idea further. Not that it was being mentioned for the first time just now. The guests held their breath reverently as first Willow and then Fred and then Cordelia made their way slowly down the aisle. The collectively stood when Giles appeared, a radiant Max on his arm, the music swelling in perfect harmony. The couple had surprisingly gone the traditional avenue with their wedding. And Max made a stunning bride in her brilliant white gown, complete with a six-foot train. Buffy, like the other women around her, admired the beaded bodice that conformed nicely to her torso. The dress cut across her chest, leaving her shoulders bare, but hugging her arms down to points that lay below her wrists. Her lacy veil couldn’t hide the beaming smile she directed towards her future husband.
The crowd turned like a wave to follow her progress to the altar. The priest bade them sit and they did. Buffy barely paid attention to the ceremony. To her, it wasn’t important. Max and Angel had made the commitment to each other already. The wedding was just a way of publicly declaring it. Not to say that she didn’t want her own wedding one day. But, as she glanced up at Spike, she knew that it would happen when they were ready. They were still in the process of discovering themselves, apart and as a couple. They were content. But for that one little thing.
She’d had friends and family for so long, that she didn’t quite know how to function without them. Yet they were all moving on. But because she knew how important it was to live life, she let them. But that little platitude didn’t ease the ache in her heart. Bits and pieces of the vows made their way into her consciousness, but more and more, she found her gaze being pulled towards that sweet little baby.
Spike was fully aware of what had caught her attention. But he made no move to distract her from it. He wasn’t at all opposed to the idea of their child. He’d pointed out to her though, the first time she’d brought it up, that it would probably be better if they were settled first. Running all over the world to put out evil-induced brushfires was not conducive to raising a child. Nor was trying to train Slayers, recruiting the new ones and trying to figure out what not to do with the new Watcher’s council. And to top it all off, they still hadn’t chosen one spot to settle in. Instead they had been living out of suitcases, on mostly borrowed funds, for over a year. Buffy had agreed with him, somewhat reluctantly, but had chosen not to make an issue out of it.
He had to smile though, when it came time for Angel and Max to exchange their vows and rings. It still cracked him up when he thought back to Max’s reaction to what the Sandeman had named her. He knew what it was like, to be saddled with a name that just wasn’t really you. He wondered if she’d ever learn to accept it, as he had. He was learning to be at ease with William and Spike. He watched Angel make his vows and slip the ring onto Max’s delicate hand.
"And do you," the priest intoned, "Maxine Jennifer, take this man…" Astonishingly, Max managed not to flinch, which Spike thought admirable, but he grinned all the same. It just wasn’t her, at all.
The ceremony moved quickly after that. Angel kissed his bride, while tears of joy slipped from her eyes. It was enough to make Spike desperate for a cigarette, if only to purge himself of all this sappy romantic bilge. The priest had them sign their marriage certificate and then they were making their way up the aisle amidst the hearty applause.
Cordy and Wes followed after them, beaming grins lighting their faces. Gunn and Fred walked a little more sedately, but no less happy. Finally came Connor and Willow. Willow waved at her friends, while Connor seemed to be searching for his girlfriend Alyssa’s eyes. Once he’d found her, he smiled and winked at her. She was still seated, two pews ahead of Buffy and Spike. But as Connor turned his head back to the aisle, he caught sight of the petite blonde and the grin on his face widened even more.
He mouthed the word ‘hi’ to her and even waved, a little embarrassed, but seemingly pleased. Buffy grinned back at him and waved as well. She felt Spike stiffen beside her but paid no mind. Giles had caught her attention. He was now carrying Eva, his granddaughter up the aisle, the woman who’d been tending her before at his left. She watched, a little wistful, as he never even seemed to notice her.
He disappeared from her sight as the pews began to empty out and muted conversation struck up again. Buffy turned to gather her purse, finally noticing the scowl on Spike’s face. "What’s the matter?" she asked, sliding the strap up to rest comfortable on her shoulder. Spike didn’t answer immediately. Instead, he turned his eye to watch as Alyssa made her way out to the aisle, followed by another couple. Once she was out of earshot, Spike turned back to his lover.
"That little whelp was flirting with you," he growled in an undertone. "Right in front of me. And with his own girlfriend not a few feet away." Buffy tilted her head, puzzled as to which he meant, until she realized he’d caught her exchange with Connor. She liked this side of him, the sexy, growling, jealous side.
"Don’t be silly," she smiled. "I like you. Just you." She tilted he face up for a kiss. He obliged, but didn’t seem to be letting this go. She caught his hand and turned to follow after Kennedy and Dawn. "Besides, I’ve known Connor since he was in diapers."
Lukewarm Reception
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