Title: Dream Within
Author: Restive Nature (aka Bavite)
Rated: NC-17
Disclaimer: All characters within this fiction are the property of Cameron/ Eglee. I just like to play with them.
Timeline: Six weeks after FN.
Pairing M/A
Summary: An unexpected accident causes Max to think about the future in a new way.
Chapter Twenty-two
Whose Truth Is It Now?
Christmas Morning
Max felt a tingle, starting low in her belly as she slowly came awake. It tickled it’s way up her body as she stretched out her toes, encountering the sprinkling of hair on her husband’s legs, nearly tangled with her own. Max lifted her head to glance down to where the blanket had been pushed away, barely catching sight of Alec’s arm wrapped about her middle before a wave of dizziness swept over her. Her head fell back with a light sound as it met the pillow, softer than the small groan she let out. She remained calm, hoping that keeping her nerves together would make this imminent bout of returning memories a little easier to bear.
Her slight noisiness was enough to alert Alec though. He made his way to wakefulness just as peacefully as she had, a large grin upon his face. The previous evening, barring certain surprises had been a complete success and they’d celebrated far more personally long into the night. As his eyes searched hers out, he shifted to roll even more towards her. She groaned again and his face showed his immediate concern.
"Max? You okay baby?" he inquired quickly. Max started to nod her head, but thought better of it.
"Dizzy," was her clipped explanation. His lips formed a silent ‘o’ of understanding and he was careful not to jar her further as he waited for the expected surge of memory that was slowly becoming a familiar if not regularly scheduled part of their life. After about ten minutes, Alec lost patience.
"Anything?" he demanded gently. Max sighed again. "Sorry sweetie," he sighed along with her. He scooted up a little, not noticing her mild grimace and rearranged the pillows underneath his head. He leaned towards her once more. "Anyway, Merry Christmas," he whispered as he leaned in to brush his lips across hers. Max tamped down the riotous surge of ire she felt at her mind’s stupidity in refusing her the return of her memories and let herself be swept away by her husband’s knowing caress. Until she felt that tingle in her stomach again. And finally recognized it for what it truly was.
"Oh God," she managed to get out as she pushed Alec away. His eyes widened in confusion as she threw herself to the end of the bed, trying desperately to keep from being entangled in the sheets.
"What the hell?" he bit out as she rushed from the bedroom. Max dashed across the apartment, stark nude and not giving a damn about it. The entire Familiar army could be marching through her door at the moment and she wouldn’t care less. She made it in time to empty the contents of her stomach, a new experience for her, since X5’s did not routinely get sick. Even back in the days of Manticore, any viruses introduced to their systems were more likely to raise their temperature and tire them out. And Max cut off her mind's musings as they were leading her directly back to what she didn’t want to think of. And that was this new form of communication between her insides and the toilet’s. It was not a pleasant thought.
She heard Alec pop his head into the bathroom, expecting him to disappear just as quickly. For all he had seen and done in his life, he was always a little squeamish when it came to this aspect of life. Not that she blamed him at all. But apparently that wasn’t the case anymore as he slipped in behind her to stroke her back soothingly. His large, warm hands felt good even as in direct opposition, the cool porcelain she now rested her cheek on felt even better.
"So, looks like someone had a wee too much of the spiked eggnog last night?" he teased; though his voice held a modicum of concern. Max tried to remember if she’d even touched the punch and then thinking of the drink ingredients, felt another wave of nausea.
"Shut up Alec," she ground out. His hand stilled as her stomach heaved again. He pulled away, but returned quickly to wrap her robe around her, pulling her hair back and away from her face. When finally her stomach stilled, she answered. "No I didn’t have any eggnog. It didn’t look good."
"But apparently you tried everything else the catering staff offered," he quipped as his nose wrinkled in disgust.
"Again, shut up!" Max growled, desperate not to think about food. Her hand reached to flush away the evidence. She would have tried to stand, but her legs felt slightly wobbly and Alec’s comforting was just too sinfully sweet to pass up at that moment.
"I’m sorry babe," he whispered into her hair as she leaned against the outside of the bathtub. "Guess I’m into my ‘humor as a cover-up for uncomfortable situation’ mode, aren’t I?" She nodded briefly, resting her head on his lap. Her eyes drifted shut, until Alec muttered that dreaded question. "So if it wasn’t anything you ate, then what the hell is making you sick?" Max’s head snapped up, her eyes clashing with his. "I mean, memory loss aside, you’ve been feeling crappy the last couple of weeks and now you’re sick." His hand trembled slightly as he stroked her hair.
Max’s mind whirled, putting together the events of the last few weeks. In fact, ever since she’d woken up. The dizziness, the fainting, being more tired than usual all the time. And now this, the latest event in an obvious string of progression. Morning sickness. Unconsciously a smile curved her lips upwards as she took in the implication, her hands straying to glide softly over her abdomen. Visions of a baby, Alec’s baby danced in her mind.
"This isn’t good," Alec’s voice pulled her back to reality. "I don’t care if it’s Christmas. I’m calling Carr back from wherever the hell he’s gone so that he can check you out."
"Alec," Max whispered, her hand still curled protectively over her stomach. But his eyes were still slightly wild, concerned over her welfare. She tried again. "Alec!" He glanced down at her, seemingly confused by her smiling face and dancing eyes. He shook his head slightly and her grin grew. "I think I’m pregnant."
His reaction was not at all what she had expected. Well, maybe slightly. The blood disappearing from his face was forgivable. The return of the trembling hands. Understandable. But the ‘no’ was not at all what any wife wanted to hear over such happy news. Nor did any wife want her husband to flee. Which was precisely what he did. Despite the grumbling of her still unhappy stomach, Max chased after him, relieved that he’d only gone so far as the living room. Pacing the length of limited space, Alec thrust his hands into his hair.
"No!" Max demanded somewhat angrily. "What do you mean ‘no’?" Her ire was deflated when he finally turned to her, moisture welling in his eyes.
"I’m sorry Maxie," he whispered brokenly. He inhaled deeply, trying to bring himself back under control as she stood before him, her hands on her hips.
"Sorry about what Alec?" she taunted, her feelings hurt deeply in spite of his obvious distress. "Sorry that you don’t want to have a baby? With me?" If possible he paled even further, striding forward to capture her hands.
"No damn it," he swore vehemently. "That’s not it at all. I want a baby Max. We want one. It’s just…"
"Just what Alec?" she demanded, softening her tone a little. Alec’s shoulders slumped, his grip tightening on her. He tugged her towards the sofa, pulling her as close to him as he possibly could.
"Do you remember," he began softly, his eyes unable to meet hers, "when we went out for dinner and then up to the Needle?" She nodded. It had been a new start for them, for her. "And you remember… the secret?" Her mouth opened as she most certainly did remember and then, instantly realizing what he was referring to, snapped it shut again. "I’m so sorry Maxie. But this is it." He paused, as if gauging her possible reaction. "Its… doubtful. That we’ll ever have kids, I mean."
Max stared at him for a full minute, trying to digest this news. Not have kids? Where the hell had that come from? Had they tried before? Had she been pregnant before and something went wrong? She ducked her head, the possibilities near to overwhelming her. But inside, none of that felt right. Putting the questions to herself silently, she touched on each emotion playing through her. She knew, without a doubt, she’d never been pregnant before. Just as she was convinced that she was now. It was the only thing that made sense.
"No," she spoke, her voice firm. "I won’t accept that."
"But Max-!" Alec tried before she cut him off.
"I don’t care what happened in the past," she enunciated carefully. "About what we may have been told, or thought. I’m pregnant." Alec sighed, slumping back against the cushions. Max raised a single eyebrow, as if daring him to challenge her assertion. And finally he did.
"Maxie, you don’t remember the whole story," he pointed out.
"So enlighten me."
His hand reached out to cup her cheek. "Max, your last heat was just a couple months ago," he explained. "You didn’t get pregnant then, when the chances between transgenics are over 96%. So I highly doubt that you’re pregnant now."
"Heat!" Max centered on that immediately. It was more of a shock to her than being pregnant was. "I’ve been in heat recently?" Alec gaped at her for a second before nodding. "Wait, my last heat? How many times have I been in heat?"
"Twice."
"Damn," Max breathed out shakily. She was starting to slightly reconsider her desire to know about the past, especially when bombshells like this came along. Going through heat three times a year was one of the hardest things she’d ever endured in her life. With all the procedures she’d endured at Manticore the second time around, she’d figured that they found a way to fix that unexpected anomaly. "Wait, two heats in how long?"
"Uh, since you blew up the old alma mater," Alec grimaced. Max was shaking her head.
"This doesn’t make any sense," she argued with herself. "Why would I suddenly start going into heat again, when I hadn’t for so long? And another thing, 96 is not 100 Alec. It’s simply close to perfect." She rolled her eyes at her naivete. Nothing related to Manticore was simple.
"True," he conceded. "But well, as to the other, Doc came up with a theory," Alec offered. His hand reached for hers. She let her hand rest in his, their thumbs dueling unintentionally with the other for comfort stroking rights. "It seems everything started with your recapture by Manticore." When she would have questioned, he held up his free hand, indicating for her to let him tell it all before she interrupted. "The first problem was your heart transplant. Even though you were healthy and Zack’s heart was healthy, there was still the strain of the operation. You said yourself that it took you a little while to get back up to par. And then a little while longer to get back up to transgenic standards. Renfro’s punishments didn’t help in that respect at all." He took a deep breath and continued. "And then there was the virus."
"What about it?" she whispered. "It’s cured."
"But think about it Max," Alec urged. "Yeah, we’re immune to common bio-warfare bugs and common illnesses. But how do we stay that way?"
"Manticore gave us the antibodies in our genetic code," she recalled. Alec nodded.
"Right," he confirmed. "But to activate them, we had to be infected with the virus or whatever it was. The problem was that you had run-ins with Logan’s skin more than once. Your body had to continually produce those antibodies. And regardless of our stamina, it began to wear on you after a while. In fact, Doc figured that’s why you were so depressed that year. Until we cured the virus."
"Well hell," Max gasped. "That makes a weird sort of sense. ‘Cause I wasn’t always so… so…"
"Yeah, so I was told," he smiled momentarily at her. "Anyway, the heart transplant, combined with your body working overtime to fight off the virus, plus all the running around and fighting and rescuing you were doing managed to suppress your heats."
She took a moment to absorb that. "Ah, kind of like an anemic ordinary who starts skipping her period because her body is so run down?" Alec blushed a little, his mouth trying to twist into an amused smirk.
"Yeah, I wouldn’t know anything about that," he murmured. Max tilted her head to the side.
"Mmhmm," she grinned. "Yeah, living with women for the majority of my life, you find out that not many subjects are taboo." She thought back a moment, on the comparison she’d just made. Anemic ordinaries were not something she generally had anything in common with. Until now, taking her little vitamins, like Doc had told her to do. Her eyes went huge and she jumped off the couch. Alec remained were he was, though his puzzling eyes followed her scurrying progression to the cupboard by the sink.
Max slammed open the cupboard door, her hand reaching past the glasses to reach the bottle of pills that she’d taken faithfully since they’d procured them. She looked closely at the label, which she’d glanced at before, never worrying beyond the fact that they were what Dc had said to take. Now she read the fine print. ‘…provides 100% of daily vitamins required by neonatal women’. It was almost as if a ripple went through her, an extreme wave of relief. She spun around and threw the bottle to Alec, who snagged it easily.
"So explain that," she smiled proudly. Alec glanced down at the bottle. "The small print," she clarified. He did so and shrugged helplessly.
"So it’s the same stuff," he began, but Max was on a roll. She hurried over to the counter, searching anew. "But Max, that doesn’t prove anything sweetie. Doc gave you these for general purposes. Not because-!"
"Think about it Alec," she half-yelled over his voice. "Why the hell would I be going into heat if I couldn’t get pregnant?"
"We weren’t sure," he sighed. "Doc was looking into it, but you didn’t want to go in for any invasive procedures this quick. Which would have been the only option." He moved to stand next to her as her fingers dug through a drawer that they’d been using for accumulated junk.
"But it was never anything conclusive, was it?" she demanded, digging through the pile of papers surrounded by bits and pieces that had no other home in their apartment. Finally she found what she was looking for. The manila envelope Doc had given her. Taking a deep breath, she pulled out the sheaf of papers once more. Her hands were shaking now that she was so close to what she hoped was a definitive answer. Something more than just feelings and suppositions. For although she believed it so completely herself, nothing less than a blood test result would convince her husband. A blood test that Doc probably ran all that time ago.
Max flipped through the first few sheets, letting them slide to the counter in her search. And when she at last came to the test result, she felt light-headed. ‘Pregnancy: positive. Estimated fetal age: two weeks.’ Max stared blankly down at the page. She’d been pregnant when she woke up. She was pregnant now. She was six weeks pregnant. She moistened her lips slowly, raising her eyes to meet Alec. Her lips trembled into a smile.
"So I take it we had a really special night about six weeks or so ago," she hinted. Alec’s eyebrows furrowed and Max turned the page around for him to see. She watched the emotions play over his face as he took in the information, the same as she had. "I am pregnant," she stressed quietly, resisting the urge to laugh and shout ‘I told you so!’ to his face. Just the completely dumbfounded expression stunning his face into immobility was enough. Shakily, he reached out to take the paper from her. She gave it over to him, her hand moving to his back, rubbing over the base of his spine.
He turned his head from the page, finally, searching her face. Max knew exactly what he was thinking. It was hard enough that she’d woken up with no memory of her husband, a man that for all she knew, barely qualified in the friend category. Well, that he knew. And now there was a pregnancy to contend with. Not something that this Max was even thinking of. His Max was ready, willing and apparently eager to get on with it, judging from what he’d said. So how did she go about convincing him that she was just as happy about the tiny life now growing in her? She felt giddy at just the thought as her other hand once again cradled her belly protectively.
Alec’s eyes dropped down to that hand, his own reaching out to cover hers. The hopeful yearning in his eyes told her everything. She smiled up at him, feeling as if the purity of joy that ran through her was beckoning him. Urging him to join her in the bliss of instinctual rightness of the moment. And as he let his breath out in a soft whoosh, and his fingers coaxed her apart so that he could tangle his fingers with hers, she knew he understood.
Before either could speak, a knock sounded at their door. Max grimaced, as the spell over them was broken. Alec sighed and turned his head, while Max stepped away to rearrange her robe to more fully cover her nude body underneath.
"Who is it?" Alec called out.
"Uh, its Joshua," the answer came, rather hesitantly. They both grinned, knowing how much the big dog man enjoyed the holidays. Max had a quick impression that Joshua had probably been up for hours, just counting down the seconds until he could politely visit his friends to exchange gifts with them. Alec moved forward to open the door, greeting the larger man with a brilliant grin.
"Hey Josh, come on in," he invited. Joshua looked hesitantly at them.
"Not too early?" he asked carefully, inquiring of both of them.
"No it’s fine big fella," Max grinned. "We’ve been up for a little while." She watched as he turned back to lug in the present he’d made for them. Covered over in black cloth, with a large red bow tied around an upper corner, she wondered what Alec would think of it. She was eager herself to see the finished product. The transgenics and transhumans had agreed to get together later in the morning to exchange gifts, but personal gifts, such as this were better for at home.
"Merry Christmas Josh," Alec smiled as he clapped a hand on Joshua’s shoulder.
"Merry Christmas Alec," he replied. Then turned to his best friend. "Merry Christmas Max."
"Merry Christmas big fella," she returned, moving over to give him a hug. He returned it gently, then stepped back to gesture at the gift he’d leaned against the wall.
"Your gift," he said simply. Alec moved to wrap his arm around Max’s waist.
"Thanks big guy. But I already got the only gift I’ll need today."
"Oh?" Surprisingly, there wasn’t a hint of disappointment on Joshua’s face at Alec’s statement. He looked at them, more expectantly than anything. Max shared a glance with her husband and at his imperceptible nod, turned to face her friend again.
"I’m pregnant," she burst out, unable to keep this from him, like everything else in her life. Joshua beamed at them, shaking his head.
"Joshua knows," he agreed happily.
"You know?" Alec chuckled. "How could you already know. We just found out for sure a few minutes ago."
Joshua tapped his nose. "Smelled it. When Max and Alec come get me from infirmary."
"What?" Max demanded, her eyes going wide. That had been weeks ago. Joshua had known even back then.
"You smelled it?" Alec chimed in, incredulously. Joshua nodded again.
"Joshua knew something was different about Max," he chuckled himself.
"Oh my God," Max moaned, hiding her face in her hands. "That’s what you meant. You had no idea that I didn’t remember. You were talking about me being pregnant." There was vigorous head nodding on the dog man’s part.
"And when you told me that when she told me I’d be very happy?" Alec tried to clarify. Again Joshua nodded, grinning like a madman. Alec held his hand up as if trying to gesticulate his frustration over the absurdity of the situation. It wasn’t working. His hand dropped to his side.
"Okay, so you knew already," Max bit her lower lip. "That’s okay. I just wish you’d have told me sooner."
"Why?" Joshua asked. "Doc said you knew." Alec’s eyes widened as he spun around to Max, the amusement plain for the others to see.
"That’s right," he crowed. "You told Doc that you already knew what was wrong with you. And he told you to tell me. But he didn’t know that you had lost your memory. He thought you already knew you were pregnant. And after what he told us before, he was probably wondering why the hell you wouldn’t tell me." Max shook her head as she tried to keep up with his verbal sprinting. All it accomplished was to make her slightly dizzy again. She groped around behind her, feeling for the counter and once finding it, leaning back against it for support.
"What a mess," she finally laughed. "Yeah, he probably thought I was crazy for keeping such good news from you." They shared a tender look until Joshua spoke up again.
"Tina thought so," he informed them. Both their heads swiveled around again.
"Tina knew?" Max screeched. Joshua grinned at her. "How? How did she know?"
"Max have cravings," he stated with one shrug of his shoulders. "Tina and Gem talk about it a lot."
"Gem knows too," Max huffed, her voice seeming weaker by the moment.
"Well, she had Angie," Alec conceded, "Makes sense that she knows the early warning signs." Joshua’s agreement came quietly.
"Do you know what that means then?" Max giggled. "Every transgenic either pregnant or with a child knows about me."
"Their mates too," Joshua voiced helpfully. Max closed her eyes, her head sinking down as her shoulders shook with silent mirth. Alec stepped before her, his hands running up and down her arms comfortingly. "We are such idiots!" she finally gasped out. She looked up to see the surprised look her husband wore. "Everybody knew I was pregnant but us!" Luckily he saw the humor in her statement immediately and began to laugh along with her.
"Not Cindy!" Joshua piped up as the pair hugged. Max’s eyes shot up to Alec’s and they both smiled.
"We can tell her later, at the party," he promised. She nodded and rested her head on his chest. There was a moment of silence between the three as they all basked in the sweet moment.
"Joshua going to go," the other man announced. Max pulled away from her husband’s embrace reluctantly.
"Oh, let me get your present for you then," she said, but Joshua shook his head.
"Bring it later, to the party," he decided. "Max and Alec need alone time now. Besides, have to go see Angie."
"Okay man," Alec nodded as Joshua headed out the door. "Thanks!" The door swung shut and the couple turned back to one another. "Hmm, alone time. Sounds like an interesting idea. What do ya say?" His eyes darkened as his hands encircled her waist again, drawing her closer.
"That sounds like something I’m very interested in," she murmured back. Alec leaned down to capture her lips, but before he could, she’d wriggled out of his embrace. "Just one thing though Alec."
"Yeah?" he whispered huskily.
"I’d think we both would appreciate it if I brushed my teeth first." His loud chuckle followed her all the way into the bathroom.
Chapter Twenty-three
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