Fiction HftH- Stupid Cupid

Title: Holidays for the Heart: Stupid Cupid
Author: Restive Nature (aka bavite)
Rating: PG-13 (at most)
Pairing: Joyce/ Legolas
Disclaimer: All things Buffy belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. All things Lord of the Rings belong to Tolkien.
Timeline: This story is a continuation fic of “The 8 Days of Hanukkah”. It is Season Three, the month of February after Willow has returned from Middle Earth. Takes place just after the episode “The Zeppo”.
Summary: Always with a thirst for knowledge, Legolas finds a way to travel to Sunnydale to learn more of Willow’s world, and her holidays.

A/N- This fiction was also written for the TtH’s fic-for-all. This pairing is #1391 Joyce/ Legolas.


Chapter Three
Stupid Cupid


“Good morning Giles,” Legolas greeted politely as he stepped into the library. Since his timely finding of Willow in her strange world, Legolas had come to understand and appreciate a great many things about this strange world. One of those things was the predictability of finding Rupert Giles, librarian, mentor, ex-Watcher, in the library. Legolas had come to understand that more than a job, or center for research, it was a haven for the older man. And seeing the exuberance with which the younglings engaged in their lives, Legolas could understand the need for it. In some ways, it reminded him of Celeborn’s, Elrond’s and even his own father’s sanctuaries.

Excepting of course for the aura of pure evil that underlined the tranquility and dusty smell of many tomes. That was similar to his own homeland, set in the middle of Mirkwood forest. There they were surrounded by all manner of evil tings. Not as evil as this pit, per se, but close enough.

Rupert Giles glanced up from the book he was poring over when he heard someone call his name. A smile graced his face to discover that it was the Elf, Legolas Greenleaf by name. Back when Willow had first been taken by mystical forces, the gang had been frantic. She’d returned swiftly, unharmed and full of wondrous tales about another earth, one called Arda.

Giles had long known about the possibility of other dimensions and was in fact rather jealous that it had been Willow that had been taken. But instead of dwelling on the matter, he’d occasionally picked her brains about her adventure, dutifully writing things down in the secondary journal that he kept. Not that he’d ever tell the “Slayerette’s” about that. They thought it was bad enough that he kept a diary on all of Buffy’s extra-curricular activities. But there were some useful moments and ideas that Xander and Willow came up with that he wanted to study and ruminate on at later dates.

But when Willow had shown up a few mornings prior with a tall, slightly glowing being, flustered beyond belief, both Willow and the stranger, Giles had been near ecstatic. He’d had an inkling of who the stranger was before Willow had even introduced them to Legolas. And he was even more thrilled to discover that Legolas had come on purpose. That there was something of a higher power or purpose guiding him. True, Legolas wasn’t quite sure what that purpose was and had no knowledge of any prophecies about to arise. But Giles was more than happy to look into the matter. But he too found nothing. Legolas was much more content to sit back and let things unfold as they would.

And so, to everyone’s enjoyment, Legolas finally met all the people that Willow had told him about. Well, the important people anyway. Xander, Buffy, Angel and Giles. He’d also been introduced to some others that had joined the core group since Willow had last talked with Legolas. There was her boyfriend Oz. And of course the vituperous Cordelia, of whom Legolas seemed to somehow have prior knowledge. And of course Faith, the other Slayer. And everyone met Legolas.

They had all gotten along like a house on fire, much to Giles’ amusement.

“Ah, yes, good morning Legolas,” Giles responded as he dropped his eyes back to his books. He’d almost been on the verge of noting something that had been hovering in the back of his mind and he really needed to concentrate if he was going to find it again. Luckily, the Elf was very conscientious when it came to the subtleties of the man’s moods. And yet this morning, something seemed to be bothering the Elf, for he took no notice of Giles’ pensive mood.

“I wonder Mr. Giles,” Legolas began even as he took a seat opposite Giles at the large table that graced the center of the library floor. Giles glanced up again, a slightly perturbed look on his face.

“Yes?” he asked peremptorily. “What is it?”

“Well,” Legolas began quietly, glancing about the large library. “I noticed this morning that the school has begun to sport some new decorations. I was wondering why that is?”

Giles then for the first time that morning took a good look around his library. To his surprise, there seemed to be pink and red cutout hearts and streamers decorating every available surface. When had that happened? And to his library? It took him only a moment to realize why the decorations were there, but for the life of him; he couldn’t remember giving permission to the student council to decorate the library. But before he could answer the Elf, another did so for him.

“Do ya like it?” Buffy’s perky voice answered from the doorway. Giles stood at once, waving his arms around.

“Did you do this?” he demanded, slightly outraged even as Buffy nodded happily.

“Someone had to,” she shrugged, a huge grin on her face. She turned her attention away from her blustering former Watcher and looked once more to Legolas as she entered the room. She and the Elf had taken well to each other, especially since Buffy had discovered how well he yielded his bow and arrow. As accustomed as he was to fighting many dangerous beasts, she didn’t feel the need to worry too awful much about him engaging Vampires in combat. Seeing how his general route was to pick a vantage point in a tree and pick them off from the shroud of canopy and foliage.

“Why would you have to?” Legolas asked, his forehead furrowing in puzzlement, even as his lips curved into an answering smile.

“’Cause Valentine’s day is coming up,” Buffy answered quickly, as if that explained everything to the Elf. But then she seemed to realize that it wouldn’t. “Has Wills told you about it yet?”

Legolas shook his head in the negative. He was not one bit surprised when Buffy perked up and Giles groaned audibly. He’d learned already that the petite blonde had a tendency to muddle her explanations beyond what was rational sometimes. And Legolas was discovering that he had a tendency towards understatement.

“Well it’s like this,” Buffy leaned forward, propping her hip against the table. “A long time ago, there was this really mean Emperor dude and he like decided that people couldn’t get married. But there was this really cool priest guy who went ahead and married people in secret. The Emperor dude found out and had him killed because he was being bad. So people remember the priest guy with Valentine’s Day. He’s a saint.”

If possible, Legolas’ brow had furrowed even deeper. Without trying to be obvious about it, his eyes slid towards Giles’ face. He noted that the man was trying to contain his laughter. There would be no help from that quarter. He struggled to form a question so that perhaps she’d explain more and Legolas could find a thread of understanding. “So this Valentine’s Day? Does the race of man traditionally marry on this day only to remember this… saint?”

“Oh hell no!” Buffy’s eyes went wide. She shook her head viciously. She glanced over at Giles. “And here I thought that it was women who were all smoochies, marriages, and baby carriages.”



Legolas couldn’t quite follow that either, but apparently Giles had. The man straightened up abruptly and yanked his glasses from his face. Legolas cringed as a pristine white handkerchief emerged from the man’s trouser pocket and began to furiously clean at the round lenses. He sighed quietly in sympathetic agitation as Giles tried to affect a casual stance.

“And who has been proposing marriage to you this week?” he asked in light tones. Buffy just chuckled.

“No one Giles,” she spoke slowly, exaggerating her words. Then she shrugged again. “It was just something that Angel and I talked about one time.” The older man nodded. Before he could say more, Xander, Willow and Oz arrived for the school day, making their obligatory first stop to the library. What generally would be the first of many each day.

“Heya,” Willow cried out happily upon seeing Legolas. “You were up and out of the house early this morning.”

“I was,” Legolas confirmed. “I wished to garner some exercise.” He glanced over to Oz. He’d been surprised to learn that the young man was a werewolf. But Buffy and Willow had both explained their personal stances on the phenomenon. Legolas had never had occasion to think such a thing through. In his world, a werewolf was evil pure and through. But he understood that here, in this world, Oz’s alter ego was nothing more than an animal. One that followed the natural instincts that had been laid upon it for the necessity of survival. That Oz conscientiously locked himself up to prevent himself from harming his fellow beings was something that Legolas admired.

Oz, well aware that he was being studied, didn’t let it bother him. He took the opportunity to study the Elf right back. Finally Legolas smiled and told the young man in an aside. “She’s been feeding me too many cookies.” He didn’t stumble over the unfamiliar word anymore. Especially since Willow had discovered that chocolate chip cookies were quickly becoming Legolas’ favorite treat and therefore made them all the more often.

“So what’s the what?” Xander asked as he dumped his book bag onto the table. Giles shoved it off of the books that he’s been studying, but Xander took no notice. He clapped his hands together. “What juicy gossip were we mulling over?”

“Valentine’s day,” Buffy supplied quickly, with a warning glance at her Watcher. Everyone, including Legolas knew not to give Xander the opportunity to degrade his arch nemesis Angel.

“What about it?” Willow asked ingenuously.

“Buffy was just explaining the ah… origins of it to me,” Legolas supplied. He tried hard to suppress a smile as Willow’s eyes widened knowingly and she too was hard pressed not to smile.

“Perhaps it would help,” Giles interrupted, finally placing his glasses back on his waiting nose, “if we were to explain to Legolas what this holiday has come to mean now.”

“What?” Xander demanded. “Why would Legolas want to know about a holiday that’s nothing but pain and misery. And women ripping out your heart and stomping on it with their sharp, stiletto heels of misery.”

“He’s only slightly bitter,” Oz quipped, causing Legolas’ mouth to snap shut. Really, he was going to have to learn to not take Xander so literally.

“I take it then that this is not the accepted method of celebration?” Legolas asked dubiously. The rest of the gang laughed, excluding Xander, who’d seated himself on the table, his chin in hand as he stared off moodily.

“It is if you date Cordelia,” Buffy replied acerbically. Legolas nodded. Hearing Cordelia’s name mentioned told him much. Especially when he’d learned that Xander had courted the young woman. There was more to the story, but Legolas had sensed the pain behind it that affected not only Xander and Cordelia, but Willow and Oz as well. So he’d held his peace. If they wanted him to know, they’d tell him.

His glance kept straying to Xander. He felt for the young man. As far as he was aware, the younglings were all in that awkward stage of growing that the race of men went through. Somehow, the females of this species were able to handle it better. Like most animals, it was the males that did all the strutting and attention seeking, whilst the females sat prettily and made their choices. Oz, by nature of his laid-back mannerisms, was handling things better than the only other teen male of the group. So Legolas tried to sympathize with Xander, harkening his mind back to when he was an awkward, relatively speaking, Elfling.

It was easy to do so, since he was fairly grateful to the teen. It had been Xander that had come up with Legolas’ cover story when he was out and about. All Willow could speak of when they discussed the matter of disguising Legolas’ more prominent feature, his pointed ears, was magic. And Legolas, though used to it, had no wish to be an active participant in having magic performed on him. Buffy had suggested pinning his ears back and covering them with makeup. That had sounded painful, especially as a constant solution.

Xander had been joking around and suggested that he should just say that he was a “Trekkie” or a “D and D-er”, whatever those had been. The others had rolled their eyes. The issue hadn’t been resolved and Legolas had been confronted by an inquisitive individual later that day. Thinking quickly, Legolas had replied “Trekkie” with a knowing grin. The other person, a young lady, had rolled her eyes in much the same way that Willow and Buffy had. But she’d said nothing further on the subject, much to his relief.

When he’d related this success to the group later that evening, Xander had become smug. There was then a crash course from the adolescent in the ways of Star Trek and Dungeons and Dragons. And while Legolas could see the lure of watching an adventure unfold in the outer reaches of unknown space, he was at a loss about the role playing game. Having been on the wrong end of many real life battles, Legolas wasn’t sure that children should try to imagine themselves in the same position. But Xander stoutly maintained that it was just a game. So Legolas let it go. But more and more, he relied on the “Trek Forever” line. And if someone were to probe further, Spock was his favorite character. And his favorite episode of the original series was any with the Tribbles, whatever those were. That was usually enough.

“Basically put,” Giles broke into Legolas’ reverie, “Valentine’s Day is a day for lovers, those affianced or courting, to celebrate. They do so by exchanging greeting cards filled with banal verses, candy and flowers and sometimes items of more expense.”

It seemed to Legolas that the drier Giles’ tone became the more pain there seemed to be behind it. And from the looks on the others faces, they knew it too. Legolas glanced at Willow for an explanation and she mouthed a word at him that he did not understand. He shook his head and Willow waved her hand as subtly as she could, indicating that she’d explain to him later.

“A charming holiday then,” Legolas admired once Giles had finished his ramble. “But what of those who are not courting or affianced?”

“Oh they can still celebrate,” Buffy chuckled. “We can pig out on all that cheap chocolate. And the candy making companies aren’t about to let us get away unscathed. They’ve come up with candy hearts for the lonely and luckless.”

“And do you fall into that category?” Legolas teased, fully aware of her feelings for the souled Vampire. There was a paradox that he couldn’t always quite wrap his mind around. Buffy, instead of replying, just carefully punched Legolas’ shoulder. The Elf barely grunted, letting her know that he indeed felt the impact of it. He glanced over at Willow and Oz. The young redhead was gleaming and Legolas discerned that she obviously had something in mind for her celebration with her boyfriend. Oz was as reticent as usual and Legolas didn’t bother to try and fathom the bottomless pools of his knowing eyes.

He turned therefore to Xander. “And will you be finding a young woman to celebrate with Xander?” he asked nicely. Xander laughed mirthlessly and spread his arms wide.

“Oh no! I’ve had enough of this holiday,” he declared. “This year, I am steering clear of heart-shaped lockets and magic spells and treasure hunts that end with my head on a platter.” Legolas noted that Buffy looked embarrassed, Giles looked angry and Willow pained. There was a story there, he was sure of it. “This year, I’m going to be free and clear.” He pulled his arms back down to his sides and grinned. “Besides, I wouldn’t want to commit to one specific girl. Gotta give the rest of the female population a chance at the Xand-man.”

And again, Legolas noticed that there was the slightest tightening of Oz’s lips. He sighed internally. Sometimes he so hated having come into this group after they’d had so many adventures together. He could only resolve to tread carefully and pay close attention to signs such as these. Really, he didn’t want to step on anyone’s toes by saying or doing the wrong thing. Especially when they had been so gracious about accepting him into their lives and in some cases, their homes.

Thinking on this, he turned to Giles, but the older man had snapped up his book and had headed back to his office. Legolas, slightly bewildered at the sudden change, turned to Willow for an explanation. The redhead waited until door to Giles’ office had closed before she leaned forward and quietly explained.

“Giles’ girlfriend, Ms. Calendar, was killed last year,” she whispered. Legolas took a moment to take that in and then nodded. That was all he needed to know. It would not be prudent to continue discussing this painful subject in front of the older man though. And even as he thought this, the morning bell indicating that classes were to begin rang through the school.

There was a scurrying moment as everyone rushed to pick up their proper bags and books and other articles. As he watched them, Buffy suddenly turned to him and informed him that should he wish, he could visit her mother at her art gallery that morning. Legolas brightened at the prospect. He’d met Joyce a few times and always enjoyed talking with the Slayer’s mother.

He could never imagine how the woman could live with the knowledge of what her child was destined to do and still be as calm and supportive as she was. Legolas had haltingly put the question to her once. She had simply shrugged and pointed out that she really had no other choice. She could either accept it and be in her daughter’s life, or she could deny it and lose her daughter. From what Legolas had learned from Willow, that exact situation had occurred in the previous year, until the Summer’s women had straightened things out.

Legolas arrived at the art gallery by mid-morning, having taken some time to wander about the town. Really, it was quite lovely during the day, if one discounted all the noise and pollution in the air. And all the metal contraptions that he now knew to be cars and trucks.

The air was cool, a respite from the heat outside, as he walked into the modest sized building. There was just the slightest noise as his soft leather half-boots, the only part of his original attire that he still wore, scuffed along the highly polished and gleaming floors. There was no one else about and Legolas paused as a painting he enjoyed caught his eye.

He heard Joyce come out of her office towards the back of the gallery and she paused for a moment before coming forward more rapidly. He turned his head to the side and caught the welcoming smile on her face. Having seen her with customers before, Legolas knew it to be a real smile, not a fake one as many other people of sales wore. But still, it was slightly larger for him than it would have been for a stranger.

“Legolas!” Joyce exclaimed as she reached his side. She reached out to squeeze at his upper arm in a comforting gesture. “I’m so glad that you came.”

“And relieved that Buffy actually remembered to pass on your message?” he teased gently. The light of amusement in her eyes suggested that he was not wrong at all in that.

Joyce let go of his arm and gestured to her office where Legolas knew she’d have tea and a treat of some kind waiting. He nodded and followed after her. “So what have you been up to this morning?” she asked politely.

“Oh, I have been exploring more of this town,” Legolas explained. “And then I arrived at the school to see that Buffy has invaded the library and is holding it hostage to her notion of this upcoming holiday.”

Joyce looked puzzled for a moment as she thought that through. “Oh, Valentine’s Day,” she chuckled. Then laughed harder at the thought of Mr. Giles’ precious books being covered in red crepe paper. “Yes, I can see Buffy doing that.”

“But I wonder that you haven’t done the same to your gallery,” Legolas noted. For indeed, the gallery was as pristine as usual, with no hint of crepe paper about.

“Oh I usually don’t,” Joyce explained as she motioned for Legolas to sit. He chose a comfortable armchair while Joyce busied herself with the tea-making. “I really only decorate the gallery at Christmas time, which is at the end of the year,” she added for his benefit.

“And why is that?”

“Art isn’t really a big seller at Valentine’s day,” Joyce shrugged. “Unless of course it’s pop art for the trendy up and comers who want to be unique in their gift giving. But since this gallery focuses more on natural history art and that genre, I don’t see many sales this time of the year.”

“But you do at Christmas?” Legolas asked, testing out the new holiday word.

“A little bit,” Joyce smiled as she pulled down two mugs. “And since I want to encourage sales, naturally I decorate for the season, which gets people into that mood and ready to buy.”

“Ah, so your appreciation of holidays is from a logical and monetary point of view?” Legolas asked as tactfully as he could.

“Only when I’m at work,” Joyce assured him dryly. “When I’m at home, I’m just as mushy and gushy as my daughter.”

“Oho,” Legolas crowed slightly. “So you have someone to celebrate this holiday with?”

“Yes, Buffy.”

That stopped Legolas short. He straightened up in his seat as Joyce calmly poured the boiling water over the tea bags. “No, no, I meant a gentleman friend.” Joyce laughed.

“I know what you meant Legolas,” she smiled. “And no, there’s no gentleman friend. I just meant that Buffy and I usually rent some movies, get lots of candy, change into our most comfortable stretchy clothes, and pig out.”

“That sounds…”

“Horribly depressing and fattening, I know,” Joyce laughed. She waved away his concern. “It’s a female rite of bonding. Mothers and daughters do it. Sisters, cousins, friends. It’s something that I don’t think that males will ever understand.”

“Ah,” Legolas sighed. She was right in that as a male, he wouldn’t quite understand. But still he pressed on. “But I thought Buffy would celebrate with Angel.” A frown crossed Joyce’s face.

“That’s a complicated situation,” she murmured. Legolas nodded his agreement. “And if Buffy does go over there, I doubt she’d be there long. In fact, we already have our list of movies that we’re going to rent, so I know she’ll be home for part of the evening.”

“And what about you?” Legolas persisted. “Isn’t there some gentleman who has taken your fancy? A secret lover that you wish would shower you with flowers candy and jewelry?”

There was no mistaking the sudden blush on Joyce’s face and Legolas grew delighted. Here was another secret, but one he was sure could be divulged. But then Joyce shook her head and turned away.

“No, no,” she hastened to say. “There’s no one. I mean, sometimes I wish…”

“I understand,” Legolas assured her just as quickly. “Say no more.” And he did understand. Joyce had an unrequited love. Someone that perhaps was too shy to say something to her. Or perhaps this man knew nothing of Joyce’s feelings. Perhaps they had quarreled. And as talk turned to other things, a plan formulated in his mind.


*****              

“Oh wow Mom!” Buffy exclaimed as she walked into the kitchen. Legolas followed behind her and she could hear him murmuring as well. The young Slayer could barely believe the size of bouquet of flowers that was now gracing the island counter in the Summer’s home. “Who are those from?”

Joyce glanced up from the card she was reading, her face a little bewildered. “I have no clue,” she answered fluttering the card suspiciously in her hand. “Hello Legolas.”

“Good evening Joyce,” he replied easily. He leaned forward to inhale the aroma that the mixed set of flowers gave off, and then sighed somewhat theatrically. “If I did not know that flowers grow better when shared, I would mourn for them.”

“Huh?” Buffy demanded even as she mimicked his behavior. “What do you mean?”

“The flowers,” Legolas gestured. Buffy nodded. “When flowers are cultivated in the manner you humans prefer, it is better to pick the flowers than to leave them be. It makes room for other blossoms to continue to grow and keeps weeds from setting in.”

“Oh,” Buffy frowned thoughtfully. “I didn’t know that.”

“But as they have made more than one lovely woman smile, then they were a good investment for whomever purchased them,” Legolas smiled. Buffy returned his smile, but Joyce continued to look thoughtful. Buffy turned to her mother.

“You really don’t know who sent them?” she asked artfully. “Wasn’t there a card with them?”

“Oh there was,” Joyce admitted, handing said card to her daughter. Buffy quickly glanced over the verse that was continued within, her eyebrows furrowing together as she turned the card over, searching for any clue as to the sender’s identity. “But whoever sent them didn’t sign the card. Oh well,” she sighed. “Probably just some grateful customer from the gallery.”

“Oh?” Legolas intervened in the conversation. “You don’t believe that you have a suitor?”

“In this day and age?” Joyce chuckled. “People are so on the go, they don’t have time for mysterious romances. Unless of course you count internet dating.”

“Which you are so not doing, right Mom?” Buffy interjected strongly. Joyce gave her daughter a quick hug, ignoring the sternness of Buffy’s face.

“Yes Buffy, we’ve all learned from Willow’s bad example, and mine,” Joyce chuckled. She glanced up at Legolas. “We don’t mix men and computers around here.”

“And why is that?” he asked carefully.

“A little matter of demons trying to take an unholy teenage bride through computer messages,” Buffy enumerated quickly.

“Which was Willow’s lesson, obviously,” Joyce pointed out dryly.

“And let’s not forget the crazy computer genius who made a robot version of himself that turned into psycho super boyfriend Ted that had to drug people to like him,” Buffy finished acerbically.

“Hmm,” Legolas pondered carefully, glancing at Joyce. “It sounds as if you’ve known some adventure as well.”

The blush that had begun to fade came back with a vengeance and Joyce abruptly turned away, ostensibly to fasten the card she’d received with the flowers to the refrigerator with a handy “mag-net”. Legolas knew that her true intention was to hide her embarrassment from him and her daughter.

“I wouldn’t exactly call it adventure,” she responded dryly. “More like hellacious memories better forgotten.”

Legolas nodded and after a little teasing from her daughter, the matter was dropped. Legolas stayed for the dinner that Buffy had invited him to and then the pair left for a round of patrol. But as Legolas left, he noticed Joyce who was doing dishes in the kitchen, stop frequently to inhale the sweet aroma of her bouquet. The small smile that played at her lips convinced him that he was on the right path.

*****        

Two days later, Legolas managed to time things perfectly to visit the gallery, just before the delivery man, whom Willow had helped him contact, made his next surprise known. He had been anticipating this all evening, artfully deceiving Willow’s inquiries as to whom the delivery was for. He had let her know that if things went successfully, it would be very obvious to them all, who he was sending gifts to and why. Willow hadn’t been quite convinced, but she had let the matter drop.

He and Joyce wee talking once more over a new piece of art that she had received. She was explaining the origins of the art and a little history of the region it came from. Truly Legolas was interested, but knowing his surprise was imminent, was a little distracted.

When the deliveryman arrived, Joyce excused herself to take it and Legolas watched as once again, puzzlement crossed her face. She signed for the large package and kindly tipped the young man that had brought it to her. Legolas ambled his way over to stand at the front counter while Joyce looked over the card.

“Another note from your mystery admirer?” he asked teasingly. Joyce smiled briefly, before returning her attention to the note. Again, it wasn’t signed, because Legolas still had no clue as to whom Joyce admired from afar. But he hoped to garner more information after she opened this gift.

On his sojourns around town, he’d found a quaint little shop. Upon entering, he was hit by a very familiar scent. Chocolate. He knew it well from all the baking that Willow did for him. But there in that store, it near overwhelmed him. And upon discovering that it was a specialty store, devoted to one aspect of gift-giving, Legolas had hatched the next part of his plan.

He watched now as Joyce unwrapped the gift to discover a bouquet of chocolates. There were single wrapped truffles and bonbons and other decorative colored sets of treats, all nestled in a pot filled with chocolate bars. Not knowing Joyce’s favorite type, Legolas had asked for an assortment to be included. And by the look on her face, Legolas knew she was certainly surprised.

“Oh,” she murmured quietly, averting her face from his.

“How very interesting,” Legolas commented quickly. “I wasn’t aware that chocolate grew as flowers did.”

It took Joyce a moment to take in what he was saying and with a visible shake; she brought herself to the moment, dismissing whatever had been going through her mind. “They don’t,” she informed him. “But someone has taken the time to arrange the candy decoratively. It’s lovely of course,” she sighed, fingering the edge of one purple wrapped chocolate.

“And who is it from?” Legolas asked carefully.

“Oh, the card doesn’t say,” Joyce explained hurriedly.

“But surely you must have some idea?” Legolas exclaimed good-naturedly. He was not surprised when Joyce’s face flushed. She shook her head and picked up the bouquet to carry it to her office. And as she walked away from him, Legolas heard her muttering under her breath.

“I really wish you hadn’t done this Rupert.”

Legolas’ eyes widened slightly. She thought they were from Rupert Giles. He almost felt like smacking his palm to his forehead as he’d seen Xander do many times. Of course, it was obvious to him now. As the Slayer’s mother and the Slayer’s Watcher, Joyce and Rupert must have spent much time together and formed a bond. And of course, knowing everything that went on in her daughter’s life, Joyce must have known about the passing of Mr. Giles’ girlfriend. Legolas decided that it was grace and tact on Joyce’s part that kept her from mentioning anything. She probably didn’t see yet that Giles was ready to move on in his life. He needed to move on to the next part of his plan, and quickly.

*****              

The next morning, Legolas once again accompanied Willow to the high school. He waited patiently until the children had all been called away to attend class. Giles seemed not to notice at first that he was still present, but after gently clearing his throat, the man took his nose out of the book he was perusing.

“Yes Legolas?” he asked politely. “Did you need something?”

“Actually I did,” Legolas smiled. He knew he needed to tread carefully here. “I am just not sure how to go about asking.”

“Probably the easiest way is just to come out and ask it,” Giles advised. Legolas nodded.

“I will take your advice then,” he answered easily. “I should very much like to know what you think of Joyce Summers.”

“What I think of Joyce?” Giles repeated faintly. He glanced away, obviously puzzled at where the discussion was headed. He glanced back at Legolas. “Why on earth would you be interested in my opinion of her?”

“Well,” Legolas paused, unsure how to continue. This part wasn’t as clear. “With Valentine’s Day coming up…” he trailed off, hoping that Giles would get the idea. And the man certainly did. He straightened up and looked at Legolas with something very much akin to surprise.

“O-of course,” Giles stammered and took off his glasses to wipe at them with a handkerchief. “Well, I admire Joyce very much. She’s always been a dedicated mother to Buffy. Certainly there are some areas where we disagree, but that’s nothing.” He glanced surreptitiously at Legolas and then continued. “I must admit, I think her r-rather a handsome woman, d-don’t you?”

Legolas nodded, happy that Giles’ opinion was high of the lady in question.

“And furthermore,” Giles continued, though he was beginning to blush, “I find her to be a very passionate creature. When she decides to pursue something, she does so with her whole heart. Rather l-like her daughter, wouldn’t you say?” He grinned at Legolas, knowing that the Elf would be in agreement, since it was something they had talked of before.

“Yes,” Legolas agreed mildly. “They are alike in certain respects. Although Buffy is certainly the more excitable of the two. But I would say that is her youth speaking.”

“Q-quite,” Giles nodded. “But yes, I think highly of Joyce. She holds herself with pride and has certainly born up well under the stresses of her life. Shall we say, some of the more unexpected surprises that life has thrown her way.” He waited but Legolas seemed quite happy with what he’d heard.

“Thank you for your opinion,” Legolas said kindly. He rose from the chair he had been seated in.

“You’re quite welcome,” Giles returned, as he shoved the well used handkerchief into his trouser pocket. “Did it help with your dilemma?”

“It answered everything I needed to know,” Legolas replied with a wide smile. “I have errands to run now. Good day Mr. Giles.”

“Good day Legolas,” Giles bade. He watched as the Elf sauntered out of the library and then shook his head ruefully. Honestly, he had thought that the Elf would be immune to such goings on. But apparently the teenage mania that infested his little pack of Slayerette’s had ensnared the Elf in its whirlwind. Giles rubbed at his tired eyes beneath his glasses. He never in a million years would have thought that the Elf would embrace Valentine’s day so seriously, and more, that he would fall for the Slayer’s mother.

*****           

It had taken Legolas many hours, a lot of sweet talking to Willow and quite a bit of legwork, but finally, the big day had arrived. The booking was made at the restaurant. The money was supplied to pay for the meal. Legolas had coerced Buffy and Willow into picking out a suitable outfit for Joyce to wear. There had been some problems there once the girls had realized what he was up to. He was made to understand why they didn’t think setting up Joyce on a blind date was a good idea. But he assured them that though they might not approve immediately of the pairing he sought, both Joyce and her mysterious date were in full, albeit unknowing, approval. Joyce had received the invitation and had been talked into going on the mystery date by her suddenly happy go lucky, full on romantic daughter and friends. Legolas was sure that he had thought of everything. Now all that was left was to get Mr. Giles ready for his evening of romance.

It was a disaster from start to astonishingly quick end.

Legolas arrived at Giles’ small ground level apartment. Certainly Giles let him in, but when Legolas disclosed the reason for his appearance that evening, Giles would have liked to pitch him straight out again.

“Let me get this straight!” Giles growled, pacing back and forth his living room rug. “You decided that Joyce was madly in love with me and I with her based on what? Nothing! And so you sought to arrange a blind date for the most silly, twaddling, so called romantic night of the year? A date that would surely be met with absolute repugnance by both Joyce and myself.” He stopped and stared at Legolas, who was completely shamefaced. “Who on earth put you up to this?” he demanded.

“No one,” Legolas answered, quiet and miserable. How could he have misjudged the situation so badly? He knew not. His only excuse lay in being so unknowing of the human customs of this land. He truly had thought he was doing a good thing. “Please, I must apologize again Mr. Giles. I meant no offense.”

“Oh I know that,” Giles sighed, the anger draining out of him. “I just don’t understand why you thought to pair up Joyce and myself.”

“I had reasons,” Legolas offered, in defense of himself. “Although I begin to see how superficial they really were.”

“I can already guess that my glowing recommendation was one of them,” Giles snorted ruefully. Legolas smiled. “What were the others?”

“I… hesitate to say,” Legolas frowned. “I do not wish to anger you against others.”

“Oh bloody hell,” Giles growled. “If those children egged you on...” he let the threat hang in the air, but Legolas hastened to mollify him.

“No, no,” he shook his head. “The younglings were not in any real way responsible for this. I was all my doing. You see, I had thought at first by the way Joyce talked, that she had feelings for someone. She expressed herself a little to me about it, but would not comment further. So I sought to, well, to trick her into revealing whom she admired.”

“And it was me?” Giles demanded, slightly flabbergasted. Legolas nodded. “What did she say?” he asked, honestly confused.

“Well, I had arranged for her to receive a bouquet of chocolates at the gallery and-!” He was cut off by Giles sudden swearing.

“Chocolates!” he thundered. “You bought her chocolates! No wonder she bloody well thought they were from me!” He returned to pacing and ranting under his breath. Legolas hadn’t been lectured in many a long year, but he remembered keenly the embarrassment of being chastised by an angry father. It wasn’t quite the same thing now, but close enough that he was squirming in his seat.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized again. “But you all said that that was how Valentine’s Day was celebrated.” That stopped Giles short. He shook his head and tapped his forefinger against his forehead.

“You’re right,” he conceded. “Quite right. We did tell you that. And you couldn’t have known.”

“Known what?” Legolas asked gently. Giles looked away, a furious blush tingeing his cheeks.

“I’m afraid that I can’t tell you the details, as Joyce and I swore to one another to keep it a secret,” Giles began. “But I can tell you that she and I were both under the influence of magically created chocolate.” Legolas wasn’t quite sure how to take that. “It rendered the consumer to a state akin to that of giddy teenagers. After that night, Joyce and I both swore off chocolate.”

Understanding dawned in Legolas’ mind. Now he realized that Joyce hadn’t been expressing fondness, but dismay. But that brought another question to mind. “Why then did you praise her when I asked for your opinion?”

“Because I thought you were interested in courting her,” was Giles’ succinct reply.

Legolas left Giles’ apartment, wondering what on earth he was going to do now. When he’d left the Summers’ household, Joyce had just begun to get into the spirit of things. She was looking forward to getting out for the evening and spending some time with a man that her daughter actually approved of. Although he really didn’t like the prospect of it, there was nothing to do but tell Joyce the truth and hope that she would forgive him for this error. He hastened to Buffy’s home, but neither woman was there. He could only surmise that Buffy had gone to see Angel and Joyce had left for the restaurant. And so now he needed to get there as well.

It didn’t take him long, being as fleet of foot as ever. He was stopped at the door by the “mater dee”, which Legolas understood to be a door warden such as the great cities of his world had. When he explained that there was an emergency and that he needed to speak to Mrs. Summers immediately, they graciously retrieved her. To say that she was startled to see Legolas was an understatement, until worry passed over her features.

“Oh God!” she exclaimed. “It’s Buffy. What happened?”

“Please calm yourself Joyce,” Legolas soothed immediately. He had noticed that there was a bench seating on the wall opposite the door and he led her there and gestured for her to sit. He took a seat beside her and lowered his voice, hoping that the humans around them had the good grace to not eavesdrop. “Buffy is well, as is everyone else.”

“Then what’s the emergency?” Joyce questioned plainly. She never liked being frightened like that, which occurred often because of her daughter’s sacred duty. Legolas was silent for a moment while he collected his thoughts, but Joyce was a lot quicker on the uptake than some people realized. At least about some things. “Rupert isn’t coming, is he?”

Legolas’ eyes grew wide. He’d thought his plan had been accomplished in near secrecy. Was it possible-? “How did you know?”

“It was pretty obvious,” Joyce stated wryly. “The flowers, the verse, the chocolates.”

“Actually, that wasn’t Mr. Giles,” Legolas admitted with chagrin. “It was my doing.”

“So you’re supposed to be my mystery date?” she asked with a small laugh.

“No,” Legolas clarified. “Your date was supposed to be Mr. Giles. But it was I who arranged it.”

“I can’t believe he put you up to that!” she sighed. But Legolas was again shaking his head.

“He did not know until tonight,” he admitted. “I did not think of him myself until after the chocolates were delivered.”

Joyce tilted her head to the side as she recalled what had occurred that day. She remembered what she had said and closed her eyes. She could easily see how Legolas had gotten the wrong impression. “You have good ears,” she murmured. She was not at all surprised when he agreed with her. “So what happened when you told Mr. Giles about the date?”

“He explained to me the error in my reasoning,” Legolas tried to evade with generality.

“In other words, he’d rather drink coffee than go on a date with me,” she teased.

“I suppose.”

“He’d rather give up his tweed than go on a date with me.”

“Perhaps.”

“He’d rather take a dozen computer tutorial classes than go on a date with me,” Joyce giggled, really getting on a roll.

“Now I don’t think he’d go that far,” Legolas protested. He was well aware of Giles’ dislike of the machine. It was something they had in common. He waited a moment for her giggling to subside. “Can you forgive me for deceiving you Joyce?”

“Oh Legolas,” her face softened visibly. “Of course I can. If it had worked out, it might have been a nice evening. But I’m, not upset with you. I just can’t imagine why you of all people would want to set me up…” She trailed off as a new thought occurred to her. “Buffy got to you, didn’t she?”

“Buffy? No,” he replied. “She was actually against setting you up.”

“No, not that,” Joyce said dismissively. “I mean she got you all worked up about Valentine’s Day, didn’t she?”

“I suppose she did,” Legolas agreed. “All of them did, in fact. Everyone was telling me about it. Everyone seemed to have plans, but you and Mr. Giles.”

“And you didn’t want to see us left out?” Joyce questioned gently.

“I suppose,” he sighed.

“Legolas,” Joyce spoke firmly now as she took one of his hands in hers. “I am going to tell you a very important lesson of this world. Ready? Good. Women don’t need men to complete them. Men don’t need women to complete them. That implies that people are broken.”

“I never thought that,” Legolas protested.

“I know,” Joyce nodded and continued with her lecture. “In this world, what men and women, who are commited to sharing their life, search for are love, trust, and friendship. It can come in many forms and many ways. Through family, friends and the people we choose to be a part of our lives. There is no hard and fast rule that says every person must be married. I’ve tried that and in the long run it didn’t work out.”

“I understand,” Legolas offered.

“I hope you do,” Joyce smiled. “Now, as to your punishment young man.”

“Excuse me?” Legolas was astonished and suddenly outraged. Here was a woman thousand of years his junior and she was going to punish him?

“Yes, punishment,” Joyce declared with a twinkle in her eye. She glared sternly at him, trying to keep from smiling. “If Buffy had pulled a stunt like this, do you really think there would be no consequences for her?”

“No,” he murmured, casting his eyes downward.

“All right,” Joyce continued. “Your punishment is this. Since you have arranged for this evening and then left me stranded, you are going to accompany me to dinner. We’re going to laugh and talk and enjoy ourselves. And then we are going to go back to my house and we are going to sit and watch the sappiest movie I can find and pig out on sweets. Understood?”

Legolas looked up at her and took in the radiant smile on her face. He was glad to see that she was teasing him. And yet not at the same time. “Well, since you ask so nicely, I suppose I can be persuaded to avail myself to this punishment,” he sighed in a self-sacrificing tone of voice.

“All right Mister, march!” Joyce laughed as she stood and pulled on his hand to drag him to his feet. She signaled the maitre d’ and the man led them back to their table.

Even though it hadn’t gone as Legolas planned, it was an evening worth remembrance.


Little Green Men