Author: Restive Nature (aka Bavite)
Rated: up to NC-17
Disclaimer: All characters within this fiction are the property of Cameron/ Eglee. I just like to play with them.
Timeline: Sequel to Dream Within. Fiction starts about six weeks after FN.
Pairing M/A
Summary: Dreams don’t often come true for Manticore-bred soldiers. So when the chance comes along for Alec, he’s not quite sure how to take it.
Chapter One
Going Home
Alec recalled the look on Max’s face when she’d smiled at him. The beauty of it had transformed her. And somehow, it had supplanted the favored image he had of her, after her shower, naked and raging. Alec’s chin dropped down to his chest as he asked himself silently, ‘is there any chance at all that she could feel the way for me as I feel for her?’ He looked up again at the closed door. Cut off from someone he cared so deeply for. She was in there. With Logan. The man she wanted. The man she always wanted and chose first, even when it hurt her. What would she want with a screw-up X5 former assassin when she could have her heart’s desire? ‘It’s just a dream, man,’ he consoled himself. ‘Just a strange, wildly impossible dream.’
Alec shoved his hands deep into his coat pockets. He set off down the road, trying to order the chaos in his mind. There was no point in dwelling on these thoughts and questions that had been whirling through him. Whatever else Max may have said or done, she’d made it abundantly clear that Logan was her choice. First and foremost. Alec, her friend, her partner-in-crime and Terminal City associate just didn’t enter into the equation.
As he walked, part of his mind dealt with the ins and outs of maneuvering through crowded areas to not draw attention to himself. It was automatic, as most of his training was. The fact that his life could very well depend on such training was accepted and now ignored. It was like he was on autopilot. If he thought too heavily on blending in, then he’d trip himself up and give something away. He knew that to everyone else, he was wearing the same mask of affected disinterest. But his wasn’t disinterest for the world at large. Rather, it was disinterest in himself. He couldn’t afford, and more than that, didn’t want to take the time to dissect the emotions and feelings that were a swirling vortex, centered on his aching heart.
He was almost halfway back to TC when a tiny voice broke that vortex. ‘Alec!’ His teeth gnashed together. He could hear her, calling for him. He shook his head clear, continuing on his path. He could still hear the desperation in her voice as she had panicked. And it had been him that she’d been calling out for. Her voice, so tired and brimming with pain. And he had eventually walked away. He heard it again, a little louder this time and he stumbled slightly, though no one noticed, or if they did, cared. He rested a hand on the building closest to him, little caring if people were to stare at him right now. His head bowed, he tried to thrust away the memory of Max, burrowed in his arms, tears spilling hotly over his chest.
‘Alec?’ He grunted, low in his throat. Damn! He had just left Logan’s place. Was he going to be tormented like this from now on? Her voice in his mind every second, every moment of every day for the rest of his life? He was not prepared for the hand that grabbed at his arm. But even as he swung around, his body tensing to throw off whatever attack was coming his way. His mind, still on autopilot in the mode of Manticore soldier told him to strike first. His eyes took in the form that had slipped up behind him, surprising him even as his hand came up.
And stopped mid-swing.
"It’s about time," a smooth voice chuckled. "Didn’t you hear me calling you?"
"Max!" he gasped. She grinned up at him, apparently pleased with herself for actually being able to sneak up on him. She glanced at his hand, still in the air and Alec let it drop, full of awkward embarrassment. "What are you doing here?" he demanded, though he regretted the tone. The slight twinge of embarrassment colored his words, as was the swelling concern for her.
Max gestured at him to keep walking. Alec didn’t want to, but the soldier inside realized that they were drawing too much attention. So he turned and shortened the length of his stride so that she could keep up. It was something he did regularly, something so habitual that he barely recognized the action anymore. It was just another subtle slide he made to accommodate her. Another way he tried to keep her by his side.
"You’re supposed to be resting," he tried again. And even though he knew that that had been what the doctor had ordered, he couldn’t help but feel a small amount of relief that she was here now. Things weren’t so very far gone between them that the last few hours were insurmountable. ‘As friends’ he stiffly reminded himself. Nothing more than that.
"I can do that just as well at TC," she countered, gingerly shrugging her shoulder.
"You shouldn’t be moving around," Alec argued, wincing inwardly at how pale her face was. Enough so that the bandage that should have been stark white against her complexion looked barely there. "The doc said you needed to rest for a few days. That was a nasty fall you took."
"Believe me I know," Max spoke sarcastically, but to Alec’s hypersensitive ear, it didn’t hold the rancor that usually threaded her voice. "I’m the one who took it, remember?"
"Yeah, I know that Max," he smiled wistfully. Their friendship was being rapidly re-established, at least to his mind. Although it seemed softened somehow. There was something missing. And it wasn’t the anger in her voice. Maybe it was the way that her eyes held his for longer than just the prerequisite moment. Maybe it was the fact that she wasn’t holding herself so stiffly. And while Alec catalogued all these physical interpretations of the things that stressed her out, he wondered at the change. Had this accident been something that could be beneficial to her in the long run? Had she finally taken the broad hint life threw at her that she needed to slow down a little and relax. Take things as they came?
"Look," Max finally sighed. "I could have stayed at Logan’s. But I didn’t want to. So I figured it’d be easier to get back into TC if I had someone on the outside to… to help me." She didn’t quite avert her face in time and Alec was stunned to hear the admission and see the slight tinge of red to her cheeks. Was she actually admitting that she needed help? That she wanted it. He couldn’t help the rueful grin that spread over his lips.
"You know we would have arranged something Maxie," he chuckled. And they would have. Whoever would be on guard duty could have had her inside the perimeter fence in minutes with a little warning.
"I know," she replied easily. "But I figured why bother everyone else when you were already out here."
Alec knew that he should have let it rest. But her actions all day, from reluctantly heading out to Logan’s, to almost turning back from the supposed love of her life. All the way up to her waking and panicked reaction, the comfort she’d taken from him and not her former boyfriend and her being here now. None of it made sense to him. And like a sore tooth, he just kept probing at it. Thinking that maybe if he pushed hard enough, something would shake loose and he could hopefully return to the mundaneness of his life. Where he didn’t think these all-consuming thoughts of Max.
"What about Original Cindy?" he demanded. "Logan was going to call her to help take care of you. She’s gonna be disappointed that she didn’t get the chance to see you."
"I know," Max admitted softly. Another surprise. Usually, if one were to criticize Max’s actions, she rounded vehemently on that person, with either words or deed. "But hopefully I’ll get the chance to see her sooner rather than later."
Alec frowned at this attitude. Max knew they were on the verge of war, right? Or was she still slightly caught up in the dream that Dr. Carr had said she’d had. He wondered if he should remind her of where they were here and now, but before he could, she was speaking again.
"Alec, can I ask you something?" She spoke so hesitantly that Alec was again caught off guard.
"Uh, I think you just did," he muttered cheekily, and then flinched slightly, expecting her arm to shoot out and connect on the nearest body part of his. And a second later when he glanced down at her, she was just rolling her eyes at him.
"Smart ass," she chuckled. Well, that was odd, but pleasant. It had him reeling.
"So ask," he prompted.
"Did Carr tell you about… after?" she spoke slowly, apparently trying to gauge just how much Alec knew. He nodded easily.
‘You mean about you being caught up in a dream and being confused at first when you woke up?" Max nodded and Alec shrugged. "What about it?"
"W-well," she began, stammering slightly, "I just wanted to explain… you know… my reaction. I mean, it wasn’t really me, I know. But I don’t want you to think… well…"
"It’s okay Max," he grinned. Seeing her flustered was kind of cute. But as soon as that thought crossed his mind, he immediately shut it down. He couldn’t continue thinking of her in this vein. That was surely the way to madness. And he’d most definitely had enough of that misery after Rachel. His mouth moved quickly to take his mind away from that path of pain as well. "So what was your dream about? If you don’t mind me asking."
She glanced up at him and he was surprised to see that faint blush again. He glanced away sure now that she’d been dreaming something that he really wanted no part of. Probably as he’d first thought, about Logan. The man was, after all, a very large part of Max’s life. Before Alec had known her and after he’d become entwined in her life. But a little voice in the back of his mind insisted that he’d actually known Max, or at least of her for a lot longer than Logan. And the possessive part of him that he tried to ignore laid claim on that fact alone. Max was his own kind, not Logan’s. And at least he had the satisfaction that in truth; nothing could ever change that fact.
"Never mind," he sighed, picking up the pace a little. And then bit of a muffled curse when he glanced back at her. He felt like kicking himself as her features tightened slightly, her lips pressing together. It wouldn’t have bothered him, but for the slight movement of her hand stealing up to her face, stopped abruptly. Of course he shouldn’t be hurrying her along, no matter what the need to reach safety was. She’d trusted him to get her back into TC in one whole piece. Exhausting her along the way wouldn’t help accomplish that. Alec wondered if she would be open to letting herself lean on him for a little while, but he dismissed that thought quickly.
"Funny, huh?" Max fought off a yawn as she caught up the few steps that he’d gained on her.
"What is?" Alec muttered. He could see nothing entertaining about their current position. Especially when he caught sight of the group of sector cops across the street. Carefully, he caught her elbow, as if he were simply being a gentleman and with a short squeeze, brought them to Max’s attention as well. She nodded and continued to walk slowly.
"It’s just that I slept for so long," she continued on the thread of conversation she’d started. "And I’m still tired."
"All the more reason to get home, huh?" Alec half-smiled. Suddenly he was feeling as tired as she had claimed to be. He just wanted to get back to TC and gnaw over all the things he couldn’t do or have and then try and drink himself into a stupor. With any luck, he’d be back to his old self by morning. He glanced around, recognizing the street they were on immediately. His mind quickly mapped the possible escapes and he closed his eyes in regret.
"What is it?" Max asked, concern in her voice. Apparently, she was paying a lot more attention to the clues and hints his body was giving off than she used to.
"We’re going to have to take the sewers," he ground out. It was no secret that he hated taking that route.
"Well," Max shrugged one shoulder, then winced at the action. "I was hoping to get a bath tonight. May as well give myself a really good reason." Alec glared at her a moment. When had their positions gotten so reversed? He was grumpy and she was shrugging off that crud that surrounded them. Alec just scoffed at his musings. He glanced around and then led the way through an alley. There was a sector checkpoint just down the street from where they had been. And that route wasn’t open to them. So if they couldn’t go through, they’d go under. And the alley, which had once been a true street, offered the same amenity of the streets, complete with sewer manhole.
After a quick glance around and Max acting as lookout, Alec cleared the cover and pulled it off the hole. Aromas, conflicting and nauseating drifted up to them and both transgenics recoiled slightly. "Can you manage?" he asked carefully. Again, this was wary ground between them. Max didn’t take kindly to pity. But she simply bit at her lower lip, her eyes dark.
"Normally, yeah," she murmured. "But Dr. Carr warned me to be careful about jarring myself right now. So jumping is out."
"Well, I can lower you down," Alec mused, gauging the distance. Which looked to be about ten feet from the hole to the bottom. "Or I can call for back-up."
"Don’t want to wait," Max decided softly. She lowered herself to a sitting position, her legs already in the hole. She held her hands up to Alec who was surprised, yet again, that she was so quick to fall in with one of his plans. He hurried to the other side, opposite her and lay down on the ground. He took her forearms in his outstretched hands, careful of her other injuries. Bracing himself, he nodded to give her the go ahead. Max scooted forward until she slid off the edge and straightened into a downward drop into the sewer.
Alec inched his own body further after taking another glance around the deserted street. No one was watching. He swiftly had his upper torso into the hole, but it wasn’t quite enough. "Max," he warned, "you just might have to drop the last bit."
"Uh uh," her voice floated up to him. "Swing me forward, there’s a ledge." Alec complied and in seconds he had her secure along a half foot wide ledge. He grinned down at her, then pulled back to check the street again. Still nothing. Their luck was holding. And now for himself. He knew he’d have to time it perfectly. With care, he eased himself in and hung there, his left hand the only one available, since he had the manhole cover in the other. He pulled it, from right to left until there were scant inches left open for his hand.
With a small grunt, he yanked the cover into place from underneath as he pulled his left hand free. He dropped down, landing with characteristic grace. He stared up at the grate; pleased to see that his calculations were correct and the grate was sitting comfortably in it’s required groove.
"Nice," Max scoffed.
"Thanks," he chuckled. Was she actually complimenting him about something?
"Not that," she muttered. "You splashed crap all over my pants." Alec shrugged, his mood suddenly elevated. They were back on familiar territory. At least personality wise.
"Well you knew you were gonna have to get in it sooner or later," he argued affably. "I was just facilitating a mild induction."
"True," Max sighed. "Just be glad that you didn’t splash my face with it. Then I’d really have to…"
"Kick my ass," he finished for her tiredly. "Yeah yeah, I know."
"That’s not what I was gonna say," she protested. "Really," she asserted when he raised a single eyebrow in her direction.
"So then what would you have to do?" he demanded, crossing his arms over his chest. He grew instantly wary when he caught the slightly malicious glint in her eyes.
"This!" It was all the warning that he received as Max stomped her foot in the muck, angling her foot in such a way that it splashed like a mini-tidal wave all
over his jeans. Alec stared at her in mild horror as she giggled at him.
"Thanks," he muttered. "Thanks a lot."
"Just returning the favor," she returned impishly as she set off ahead of him. Alec almost gaped at her but returned to himself with a shake of his head and hurried to catch up. He didn’t know quite what to say, which was unusual for him. Any cheeky comment he might dare could really upset the balance Max was creating between them. And as unsettling as the sudden change was for him, he couldn’t fault the outcome of a relaxed, smiling Max. He wondered what had happened between the time he’d left the spare room at Logan’s house and when she’d caught up to him. And then realized what it probably was that had cheered her so immensely. She and Logan, together, bonding, making a connection that just didn’t exist between the two transgenics. Alec grimaced and ducked his head, trying to concentrate on not stepping in too deep an area of sludge.
‘So you wanted to know what my dream was about?" Max announced calmly. Alec’s head snapped up. She was only a few feet ahead of him but her words could have been shouted in his ear for the effect they had on him. At this point, he was quite certain that he did not want to know.
"You don’t have to tell me," he ground out. "I wasn’t trying to pry. I mean, I just assumed that you’d remember it all." Oh please let her not remember.
"Sometimes there’s just too much and you were asleep a long time. And you know, people just don’t dream continuously through the night. I mean, I think I read somewhere that people dream like anywhere up to five or six different scenarios on a good night." Max had stopped and turned to stare at him, her lip twitching and Alec realized belatedly that he was babbling.
"I remember," she stated in low tones, her eyes softening. More than that, a strange miasma of pain seemed to fill her face and Alec felt a twinge of remorse for ever having introduced the topic in the first place. "It was just one dream. I remember it all." He was puzzled when she winced and her hand strayed to hover over her abdomen. Her face looked peaked and Alec stepped forward, at a loss of what to do beyond that.
"Bad?" he asked gently. Max, whose eyes hadn’t adjusted to his movement forward, tilted her head back so that she didn’t seem to be looking through him anymore. A sad smile crossed her features and her hand dropped to the side.
"No, not really," she sighed. "It was just one of those dreams where…"
"Everything was too good to be true?" he asked, his voice barely a whisper. He knew all about dreams like that.
"Yeah," she nodded. Then turned to continue walking. Alec fell into step beside her. At least she wasn’t sharing the painful details. He didn’t think he could stretch his masochistic tendencies that far to actively listen about her fantasies about Logan. "But at the same time, it wasn’t."
"What do you mean?" he asked carefully, hoping she’d continue in the vein of generalizations.
"Well, it made me think," Max admitted as she chewed at her lower lip. "You know, things that could happen. Things that might actually be possible." She must have caught the sudden arching of his eyebrows, as she gave a rueful chuckle. "It wasn’t all bad. And at the same time it wasn’t all good. Crap was still happening. But I don’t know. It felt like I was in a better place in the end, despite that crap."
"The future according to Maxie, huh?" Alec teased. He smiled down at her, pleased to see the slight turning up of the corners of her mouth.
"I guess," she sighed. They stopped again, for different reasons. Max turned completely so that she was facing him. Alec watched her warily. "Do you ever have dreams like that Alec?" Her face, her tone, her stance was so gentle, so supportive right from the get-go that Alec felt his body reacting instinctively to the promise that her voice held. If he’d just let go, take a chance to admit what he really wanted. But the instant he felt his tongue press against his teeth to start forming the words, he recoiled. He just couldn’t afford to let himself open up.
So as he quickly mentally backpedaled and thought up some smart ass remark, he opened his mouth. But her hand reached out swiftly to settle on his forearm.
"And don’t try to foist that tired old ‘living the American dream, booze, women, cars and sex garbage off on me. I know there’s got to be more than that." He gaped at her. How could she have known? That those words had popped into his head. That it was simply a cover-up. She stared up at him intently and then smiled, squeezing his arm softly. "It’s okay Alec," she reassured gently. "You’re allowed to want more. You’ve got that right, same as everybody else. God knows I want more from this life than what I’ve currently got."
He weighed those words. Somehow, in this dank, darkened sewer an avenue of opportunity was presenting itself to him. He knew then, that their friendship was progressing further. Certainly, he was sure that there would be some remnants left of the stand-offs they created for the sheer fun of their verbal and sometimes physical sparring. And Alec realized that Max was definitely one woman who knew how to keep secrets. She had even gone so far to admit her own to him. He could trust her to reciprocate and hold his own in her heart.
"Yeah Max,’ he finally admitted, unable to meet her eyes. Instead, he stared at the exit point above them. "Sometimes I want more."
"Tell me," she urged quietly, her thumb stroking comfortingly over his wrist, bare beneath his jacket.
He sighed heavily, still unable to look at her. "I want… a place." Once he’d admitted that, it seemed to him as if a dam broke inside him, all the hopes and dreams pouring out of him. "I want someplace where we can walk around free. Where we don’t have to worry about people trying to kill us or being blamed for everything Manticore put us through because we had no choices. I want people to see that there’s more to us than just our genetics. And I want a family someday. One that’s defined by more than just sharing a crappy childhood home that didn’t give a damn about us. I want to see if I’d ever be good at something other than assassination and scamming and lying to people. I want more." His eyes finally fell to hers, ridiculously pleased to see that his words had affected her, if the unshed tears glimmering in her eyes were any indication. But his teeth snapped down on the last words his mind churned forth. ‘I want you.’
Instead, he gestured upwards. "We’re here." Her hand stilled on his wrist and he glanced down at it. Her gaze followed his and with one last squeeze, she let him loose. "I’ll head up and get a ladder, okay?" She nodded and folded her arms criss cross over her stomach.
Alec steeled himself up for the last part of the mini-mission and jumped upwards, catching at the grate that covered one of their fiercely guarded exit points. He saw the guards a short distance away and let loose the call signal even as his feet scrambled for purchase in the crumbling shallow shelf just to the side of the grate. The guards moved swiftly to return the proper whistle, the code giving each other the all clear signs.
As they moved to remove the grate and one of them caught at Alec’s hands; he heard Max’s voice whisper up to him. "I promise Alec, right here and now. I’m gonna do everything in my power to make those dreams of yours come true." And it wasn’t the words; the promise she’d sworn that captivated him. It was the sheer determined strength in her voice.
Chapter Two
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