Chapter Title: Do Dallas What? Huh!
Author: Restive Nature
Disclaimer: Neither show represented in this fiction belongs to me. Dark Angel is the product of Cameron/Eglee and Fox, whereas Supernatural is the product of Kripke and The CW. No profits are made from this fiction and it is intended for private enjoyment only.
Rating: PG-15 for language and references to non explicit adult material.
Genre: Crossover
Type: Humor
Pairing: None
Summary: No retribution…
Spoilers/ Timeline: This story takes place when the kids are all still young. In Chapter 19 of “When It Changes”, Sam and Dean have started another prank war that John and Max refused to get involved with. It is the sequel to Prank Master.
Feedback: Always welcome.
Distribution: Ask first please.
A/N: This story, while being in the same universe as WiC, does not actually occur within that storyline. This fiction is just an off-shoot of what might have happened.
7 Months Later…
“Would you just listen to me?” Max yelled after her eldest brother.
“No. Uh uh,” Dean called back over his shoulder as he climbed out of the Impala.
“Dean! You don’t know everything!” she yelled as she scrambled out of the car as well. She slammed the car door shut deliberately, her anger at being ignored very much in evidence. It also rankled that her deliberate mistreatment of the car didn’t seem to register with him. He just breezed into the motel, leaving the door open for her. She stomped in after him, slamming the motel door as well.
“What the hell is the matter?” John demanded, glancing up from his research.
“Ah, Maxie just has her panties in a twist ‘cause I’m right and she’s wrong.”
“I am not!” she shrieked indignantly, throwing herself down beside Sam.
“Ah, don’t worry Maxie,” Dean cooed, coming over to pat her on the head. “Just face it. I’m smarter than you are. At least on this subject.”
“Go to hell!” Max yelled, taking a swipe at the offending hand rubbing her head.
“Hey!” John barked out. “Language!”
“Well tell him to leave me alone,” Max complained, even though she’d always shunned having John run interference for her.
“Dean, leave her alone,” John commanded tiredly.
“Oh but she’s so much fun when she’s all full of sunshine like this,” he announced in a sickly sweet voice from right behind her. Max whirled to take another swing at him and Dean wisely ducked backwards.
“That’s enough!” their father’s tone was one of a parent who had definitely had his or her fill of antics. Obligingly, Dean turned away with a snicker.
“Don’t mind him,” Sam sympathized quietly. “He’s just being his typical infantile, insufferable, jerky self.”
“Yes he is,” Max agreed fervently, thinking about that statement. In truth though, it seemed like Dean had been getting worse. At least there hadn’t been any… Oh lord!
Max felt herself grow excited as she made the connections. No pranks! Dean couldn’t pull any pranks so he’d stepped up the teasing to fill his inexplicable desire to torment his siblings. And now, Max had a way to get him back with absolutely no retribution on her whatsoever. She wanted to hug Sam, but held herself back. She certainly didn’t want to give herself away at this point.
*****
Max waited patiently a few days, needing a moment or two when it was just she and Dean. It came finally, when Sam and John had gone to retrieve some information.
With a careful mix of innocence and curiosity, she reached into her duffel bag and withdrew a single white envelope.
“What on earth?” she asked quietly, just loud enough to get Dean’s attention.
“What?” he asked distractedly from where he was watching television.
“I don’t know,” she replied as she slid her finger under the flap that she herself had sealed just days ago. She took a seat beside her brother as she pulled the card stock from the envelope. She let herself read the three simple words typewritten in a bold font. “That’s stupid,” she snorted.
“What?” Dean repeated absently.
“’Dean Does Dallas’,” she read. “What does that mean? What’d you do in Dallas?”
“What!” This time the word was an electrifying roar. Max glanced up at her brother. His face had gone deathly white and absolutely still.
“Seriously Dean,” Max continued to bug at him. “What’s up with Dallas?”
“Nothing!” Dean whimpered, reaching for the card she held, but she held it out of his reach. “Where’d you get that?”
“It was in my bag.”
“Well it’s not for you!” he snapped.
“How would you know?” Max taunted. “There was no name on the envelope. Besides, it was in my bag. What is the big deal about Dallas?”
“Nothing,” Dean snapped. “I’ve never been there. And we’ll never go there, will we?”
“It’s just a strange way to say it,” Max tried for pensive, tapping her finger on the paper.
“No it’s not,” Dean denied vehemently. “There’s nothing about Dallas!”
“Jeeze Dean, blow a gasket,” Max chuckled. “God, whose panties are in a twist now?”
The words had a new effect on Dean. He stilled again, staring at her contemplatively. “Dad!” The words came out softly, almost hypnotically.
“Huh?” Max goggled delightedly at her sibling. This was going well. It was at that moment that they heard the Impala pull up. Flustered, Dean yanked the card from her hand and tore it up. He threw the remnants in the garbage canister.
“Not one word!” he hissed at her. Max stared at him, taken aback. Were the tapes really that bad? Aside from writing up the accompanying script for the actors to use and create the tape from, Max had no idea. She’d never had the nerve to fully listen to them. She watched as Dean leapt to his feet as their father entered the room.
Outside they could hear the Impala still running.
“I didn’t do anything!” Dean denied vehemently and wildly before John could even say anything.
“Okay,” his father drawled, unsure as to what was going on.
“And I wasn’t planning on doing anything!”
“All right.” John’s glance strayed momentarily to Max, trying to garner some clue as to what his eldest was blathering about. Dean however, interpreted it much differently.
“Oh I see,” his chuckle was an attempt at smoothness that fell flat, denied by his obvious desperation to be believed. “I didn’t break the rules.”
“I know,” John concurred, still mystified yet trying to pacify Dean.
“Okay,” Dean nodded once. “Just so that’s cleared up.” He snapped his fingers and one could almost see the little light bulb going off over his head. “So, who’s up for some gourmet lunch? Huh? Sammy and I’ll go get it. My treat!” And with that, he’d snagged his wallet off the table and had hightailed it out the door.
“What the hell was that about?” John demanded once the roar of the Impala’s engine had faded away.
“He pissed me off,” Max smiled, satisfied at the mischief she’d gotten into.
“I can see that,” John smirked, raising a single eyebrow at her attitude. Max returned the look and sauntered off, pulling a book from her duffel bag.
“I’m going to take a bath. Let me know when they get back.”
“I will,” John promised. He shook his head and by luck, happened to notice some paper on the floor. Sure that it hadn’t been there before, he stooped over to pick it up. Turning over the heavy cardstock, he could make out a D-E in heavy typewritten letters. Checking the wastebasket, he found many similar pieces of torn paper.
John stared at the pieces for a moment, wondering, and thinking. Perhaps he’d found a clue to his son’s behavior after all. Quickly checking that the bathroom door was shut, John gathered up the pieces of card. It took him a few minutes to get them ordered properly and he was surprised by what he read. What could it mean? Considering that Max and Dean had been alone when this card had to have made its appearance, one of them if not both had something to do with it. Judging from Dean’s panic, he’d say the mastermind was Max. Just like she’d been the one to stop the prank war. Was this somehow related to that? Given Dean’s assertions that he hadn’t broken the rules, John was quite sure that it was. And naturally, though he’d never seen the film that the title was obviously taken from, but being aware of that genre of films, John could easily hazard a guess as to what type of general threat or blackmail Max had come up with.
Even as he was dismayed by his sweet little girl having any kind of knowledge about that, he was still proud of the brilliance of what she’d accomplished. And the boys still thought that it was John. So in the end, it would be John paying the piper of that devious little mind at work.
Well maybe not. After all, they’d all learned their deviousness from somewhere…
What If- Sudden Death
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